The Day You Went Away
by weneve
Summary: ~UPDATED! WHY IS DONE!!!!! the finale??????! My M2M song fic series is back hehe, thanks to all u readers/reviewers, I hope u like this one too! S&S ALL THE WAY! T&E on the side is always fun hehe, R&R PLZ!
1. The Day You Went Away...

Disclaimer: I dont own any of these characters..  
Summary: song fic for S&S "The Day you went away" by M2M  
:)  
  
  
The Day You Went Away  
  
Sakura stared out at the stars for hours, just thinking, wondering, wishing...praying that he would keep his promise. She couldnt sleep, it was 2 in the morning and it was impossible for her to sleep  
she just kept replaying memories in her head from years, days gone by, she couldnt believe that her heart ached so much. She felt so empty, so alone, so lost, a huge void that was just a bottomless pit   
that would spend all of eternity waiting for it to be filled up again, as it once was, long ago, when her heart was with her here, in Japan.  
She kept trying to stay positive, he will return, he will keep his promise, Syaoran will be back, more in love with her than ever before. The more she thought like this the less she believed it.  
For each thought a tear would fall down her tear stained face, she couldnt help but wonder if they would ever be reunited again...would that be possible? Would the Li Clan think twice about taking her love away  
from her? Doubtful.   
After hours of thinking, hoping, wishing, the young clow mistress sought refuge in her bed as time continued to fly by, but would never fly fast enough for her. As her eyes closed slightly, she could hear her clock radio  
play a song that tore her heart up inside...   
  
Well I wonder could it be, When I was dreaming 'bout you baby  
You were dreaming of me.....  
  
**************************************  
  
Syaoran hugged his stuffed animal close to his chest as he lay motionless in his bed. He had tossed and turned for hours on end, it was to fall asleep, and when he finally managed to shut his eyes, memories of days gone by  
flooded his vision. Rapidly scenes of his cherry blossom smiling, laughing, sleeping, jumping, cheering...would change like a fast forwarding movie. He couldn't get his love out of his mind. He couldnt help but lose a tiny shred of hope,  
would he keep his promise? Was it right of him to promise her something that he was not sure he would be able to do? The final hours with his love flashed over and over again through his mind, he saw the sadness, the hurt and sorrow in her eyes,  
he hated himself for putting her through such pain! It was all his fault! He should have opened up sooner to her, instead he wasted months, years, being closed off, constantly on guard, to shield himself from pain. So many wasted moments could have  
been put to good use, but instead, he just stayed away, as far away as possible. Why was that? Was it because he knew he would have to leave eventually? Was he protecting himself from her? Was he so closed on purpose? Did he want  
her to hate him? Maybe. That way, the pain would not have surfaced because there would be nothing to miss, nothing lost, but still nothing would have been gained either. He prayed night and day secretly to himself that he would return to her,  
she was what kept him alive, but how long would she wait for him? He wouldnt blame her if she moved on, he was lost to her, as she was to him now. Only existing in his memories would he see her smile..  
  
  
Call me crazy, call me blind  
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time  
  
**************************************  
  
Sakura still lay awake in bed, listening to the song that played ever so quietly. It had been almost 2 years without him, and yet she remained miserable, waiting for his return. Had he given up on her? Did he find another to love?  
She knew she could never love anyone the way she loved him. No matter what would happen nothing could take her stubborn heart away from him. Did he feel the same for her, even after all of this time? Had he given up?  
Maybe, finding someone to love would be good for him, anything that made him happy would make her happy too. Her mind contantly concocted scenes from soap oprahs involving her love with another girl, claiming Sakura  
was a lost memory, but her heart longed for her second half. If he found someone new to love, it would rip her apart, but she would be happy, happy for him, but could she live like that?   
"Oh please Syaoran, please just be happy. I ask that you come back to me...but if you cannot..." her voice trailed off as tears spilled over again.  
  
Did I lose my love to someone better  
And does she love you like I do  
I do, you know I really really do...  
  
There is no one on this earth who could love you like I do ... please know that... Sakura cried uncontrollably as her guardian watched her from his drawer  
'Oh Sakura...if only he could see how much you love him...if he hurts you, so help me...I will show him know mercy! You hear me Chinese brat? I love my mistress with all my heart, hurting her would NOT be   
a good thing to do!' Even with his threats, he knew that there was not a word in the world that could make Sakura smile like she used to. HE was the only one that could do that now, without him, she found no reason to be happy..  
It broke his heart to see her cry herself to sleep, day after day, week after week, during the day she would put a fake face on, so no one would worry, she thought she could fool everyone, but he knew better,  
Kero heard her tears drop onto her pillow, he could see the bags under her eyes that she would hide with make up, he could hear her call his name out in the night, he could tell that her arms reached up from under the covers longing to   
grab hold of him, only to be holding nothing at all.  
  
Sakura finally managed to cry herself to sleep, in hopes that he would be in her dreams..  
  
***************************************  
  
Syaoran could feel the anger burning inside Kero, he knew how much that stuffed animal loved her, but so did he! He wanted to take her pain away, wanted to wipe away the tears she'd shed  
He felt horrible, heartbroken, lost, alone, but he knew that she would be feeling all of that and more. It was as if he could see her in her room, in her bed crying, bunching up her covers to have something to hold onto,  
clinging onto something that would give her hope. He would gladly die thousands of deaths than have his cherry blossom feel an ounce of sadness, of sorrow, of lonliness.  
As his eyes shut tight he could feel her hope, that she would see him in her dreams, because it was the same hope that he had himself...  
  
****************************************  
Sakura was dreaming that she and her love were sitting under a cherry blossom tree, watching as life grew around them. They saw in each other's eyes the sorrow they were feeling, and yet it wasn't as bad. They were together, in a figmant of their imagination but at least they  
were together. Sakura began to speak to her love in rhyme, telling him the words the song put into her heart. It was as if the song was written to explain how she felt, so her love could understand that he was the only one for her, no matter how long the wait.  
  
Well hey  
So much I need to say  
Been lonely since the day  
The day you went away...  
  
Syaoran understood what she was saying, and realized she was opening her heart to him.   
  
  
So sad but true  
For me there's only you  
Been crying since the day  
The day you went away....  
  
  
Tears flooded her eyes as they spilled over one by one. Syoaran's heart shattered as he realized that such an angel was crying for him. He began to feel the way she was feeling, as they embraced they wished the dream would never end..  
Sakura continued exposing her heart, trying to tell him how she felt, praying that his consciousness would get word..  
  
I remember date and time, September twenty second Sunday twenty five after nine..  
  
'Oh my love I would never forget a single detail when it came to you, I remember the very first time you said my name, I remember the moment you spoke to me without anger and hatred,  
I remember every hair on your head, I remember every word that was said...I need you so much Syoaran..so much..  
  
In the doorway with your case  
No longer shouting at each other  
There were tears on our faces  
  
' I will never forget how you protected me in every battle, I will never forget a single arguement, I will never forget my love..never... I hated it when we fought but it only made us stronger,  
the fights led to friendship, the friendship that we share blossomed into love, true love that can never be taken away by anyone.'  
  
' Oh Sakura if only this were real, I know your here, with me, but I also know its a dream, a beautiful dream where everything is possible, a dream where I can be there to wipe the tears from your eyes, and shush your sighs..Sakura I miss you..so much time i wasted being your enemy  
but I never hated you, never...never will I ever...never could I ever...never you...my angel...my cherry blossom...my love'  
  
And we were letting go of something special  
Something we'll never have again  
I know, I guess I really really know  
  
Syaoran shakes his head to this, with one look in his eyes, Sakura is more secure. Through his eyes she sees the love, admiration, respect and adoration he has for her, one look into his big brown eyes tell her that she is not alone  
that what they have is special and they will have it again, they will always have it, and when they are reunited their love will be stronger. His sweet lips kiss hers, as an act of pure love, loyalty of promise.  
"I promise you, I swear that nothing will keep me away from you, don't give up on me, I ll be in your arms before you know it. Don't cry my love, don't worry, I won't let you go, and I now know you won't let me go either. Have faith my sweet cherry blossom, we will be together again  
my promises are never empty..and I shall ensure that this promise is fullfilled!" He smiles one of his rare smiles her way, and she somehow feels better, that void doesnt seem as bottomless, this situation doesn't seem as hopeless, love will prevail..it has too, it will.  
  
Well hey, So much I need to say, Been lonely since the day,The day you went away  
So sad but true, For me there's only you, Been crying since the day  
The day you went away...The day you went away...  
  
The words replay in their minds, but are not as threatning. Together they have found a new hope which will prevail. Love will never fade into the background.  
Suddenly the song plays in the background as the lovers hold each other as if there was no tomorrow..  
  
Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone..  
It's so true, he thought, so much time I wasted, so many moments I took for granted...I was so blind, I never realized how precious each moment was..  
  
How could I carry on?  
The day you went away  
Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say  
Been crying since the day  
The day you went away...  
  
  
The beautiful scenery starts to dissapear, the beautiful Sakura trees were no more, the beautiful feeling of security was nearly lost, and the hope that all will end well seems to have been misplaced...  
Sakura remembers how sad she is, how much she misses her love, how horrible her life has been without him in her life, he's been away for too long, how much could she hold on?  
She was all alone in the darkness, her heart became bruised once again, tears spilled over, as the realization of the dream had hit her, it was a dream, nothing more, all that she thought had happened was just her imagination  
telling her she longed for his touch, to see his face, to hold him close..it was all so hopeless again, what now?  
  
He could feel her recoil into her sadness, into her darkness, into the dark pit of no return, he felt hope leave her, and doubt reigned supreme once again. The once smiling, happy cheeks turned to despair yet again. Her dry eyes become moist and puffy all over again. Her spirit crushed like a bird crashing into the merciless ground.   
He can see her collapse onto the darkness, screaming obcenities into the air, blaming fate, and God. She didn't mean to but the anguish and the pain took over once more, the bottomless void had returned to claim it's spot remaining stationary in her soul.  
Syoaran could not bare this, he needed to give her one last shred of hope before the dream faded into nothingness and daylight would enter signaling the new dawn. He reached down to caress her cheek, whispering sofly sweet nothings into her ear.  
" Sakura don't you give up, we're almost there, I know it, you hold on, you ll always have me! I love you, and this pain will only make us stronger. Get up my love, dont let the pain take your smiling beautiful face from me, let us part with good memories rather than bad ones"  
"Oh my love" she cries hopelessly, "I can't do this, I see you and I just want to hold you forever, but now I will reach for you and you arent there, your just in my mind, my wonderful prince." she sighs as her head lowers.   
She looks up to see me and smiles, she has decided to choose her path, the path to depression only tears her up inside, the path to a happy ending may seem long but at least she won't be lonely.  
"The day you went away Syoaran, I ...I felt like dying, I cried and cried until I couldnt cry anymore. I cried myself to sleep every night, I..still do. I smile to my friends so that they don't worry but make up can't hide my true feelings...  
Oh my love...the day you went away...the day you went away..."  
she sighs as she closes her eyes. Our lips meet for the last time before our departure again.  
"We will be together again, I swear it".  
She looks up at me with a new found hope in her gorgeous eyes and says "I don't have a single doubt in my mind, my love".   
We part from each other's dreams but it isnt the end...we will be reunited..soon I know it.....  
  
*************************************************  
The next morning...  
  
Sakura wakes up and wipes any remaining tears from her eyes, and smiles as the sun shines brightly through her window...  
  
*************************************************  
  
Syaoran opens his eyes as he feels something soft touch his face, a cherry blossom....  
'Sakura.." he says and smiles to himself as he places the petal into his pocket as if to give him strength to carry on..  
  
*************************************************  
"Oh Syoaran" she says quietly as if to herself, " the day you went away I cried so much, I felt my life was over...it wasn't until last night when I realized that you'll be back because you love me,  
the way I love you...I ll see you soon my love...in my dreams for now...but..only for now.  
She smiles as she stares at a picture of her other half from her desk.  
  
  
How was that? Hope you enjoyed it, I don't like writing sad stories cause it makes me sad! but *shrugs* this was my first song fic..as you probably guessed hehe Im a rookie.  
R&R please!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Our Song..

Hey everyone, well it's me again, I would just like to say thank you to the reviewers. I just started writing fanfics  
and I wasn't sure if i should continue until i read my reviews *sniff sniff* thanks so much to  
SAL, Raven, Melissa and Michealofthedarkdragon for your compliments :)   
A HUGE thank you to Michealofthedarkdragon who mentioned M2M's "Our Song" which inspired me to write this one.  
Thanx a million!  
  
Our Song  
  
It was really late, but she didnt care. She kept thinking about so many things that had happened in her life. Everything was great, she and her best friend   
would have so much fun, they didn't need guys to make them happy. But now...now everything had changed, everything was different. So many thoughts played  
in her head, she wondered why it took her so long to realize how much she cared about him, how much she needed him in her life. Life could be so cruel, it took her  
so long to find someone she truly cared for, cared for more than just as friends, no much more than just "friends". It was dark out, she had no idea what time it was,   
but she could hear little drops of water hit her window one by one. With each tap, a scene would flash in her mind. For some reason she felt water fall from her eyes onto  
her cheeks, was she crying? Why? Could it be because she missed him that much? Maybe she had more feelings for him than even she had anticipated, could it be love?  
Suddenly the storm outside had commenced harder, more violent. The trees outside her window swayed uncontrollably back and forth hitting her house with each movement.  
Just then the lights went out, everything was dark, she reached for her flashlight but the batteries were too weak.   
'Jeez, you d think I d have longer lasting batteries'  
She reached to turn on her portable stereo to put some music on so she could fall asleep, but she couldnt see in the dark where it was.  
'Maybe next time I ll get a smaller room' she thought trying to keep herself from getting scared.  
It was so quiet, with the occasional thunder roaring at the midnight sky. Maybe she would call her best friend, maybe she would be a comfort...no she couldnt do that, it was late  
she knew that much. She could call him again, maybe he'd be home..no she wouldnt want to disturb him, she knows how grumpy he can be without sleep. She smiled to herself remembering him.  
But then she remembered that he wasn't there with her, which gave her heart a chill and enveloped it with sadness and dissapointment.  
She felt so lonely in the darkness, she got into bed and placed her head delicately onto her pillow...and began to sing ever so quietly to the beat of the rain outside  
and the thunderous drum..  
I'm lying in my bed, all alone  
Called you once again, no one is home  
  
She felt tears form in her eyes as she contemplated that maybe, just maybe he had found someone else to love...but continued  
  
It's raining outside, on Saturday night   
Turning out the light, again I tried  
  
The rain and the thunder complimented her singing and urged her to continue as the beat rolled on, and her voice continued to sing with a slight tremble..  
She sang with her whole heart, wishing her words would somehow find their way to his ears. Why did she care so much about him? Why?? When did she start thinking of him so frequently?  
What changed her impression of him? Everyone thought he was a terror, and he truly was...wasn't he?  
  
My friends say I'm too good, too good for you...  
  
  
She tried to sour her thoughts of him, hoping that hatred would consume her heart  
so she could make things simple again.  
  
And maybe that is true, well I don't care  
  
Despite any evil things he had done in the past he was nevertheless a kind hearted soul, that was what she saw when she looked into his deep, gorgeous eyes.  
Her friends however did not see him in the same complimenting light, no rather they saw the monster they thought he was...but he wasn't a monster, no...he would never be to her..no love would conquer all...was that it? Did she LOVE him?  
  
What do they all know, they got it all wrong  
This is so unfair, they're playing our song  
  
' Oh I wish you were here with me, where are you? I wish you could hear my wishes...I need you...I need you here with me. It's so dark my love, so lonely, I need someone to hold onto  
I need you to here this, I need you to realize why this is our song!'  
  
Nobody gets too much heaven no more   
It's much harder to come by  
I'm waiting in line...  
  
Why are things so hard? Why do things always have to get in the way? Why? I dont understand why we can't just all be happy, why is everything such a battle against a counterpart? Why   
do I have to LOVE you? WHY? What have you done to make me feel this way about you? If only I could fall asleep I could dream about you, but now I feel so lost and along in the darkness, I need you! She sobbed as she continued  
to the continous beats of the rain and thunder...  
  
Nobody gets too much love anymore  
It's as high as a mountain, and harder to climb  
  
I need to know that this is one sided! I have to find out if he feels the same for me? Who am I kidding? He cares for HER more than he could ever care for me! doesnt he?   
Why is everything such a struggle? Are things suppose to be this hard? So that we can enjoy the good times and actually deserve them more whole heartedly?  
  
Something's going on, what is wrong  
  
Your never home anymore, always out, always too busy, are you avoiding me on purpose? Are you trying to tell me something that I can't see?  
  
I want you to be here, why won't you come  
And spend some time with me, can't you see  
  
  
Do you even have the slightest clue how I feel about you? What if you love me but you dont know that I love you??? I didnt even know that I loved you...  
I wish you could hear me, WHY CAN"T YOU BE HERE? Why...am i shouting? Am I shouting at you? I just feel so...helpless..  
  
Have we come undone, is this the end of our song..  
  
  
I miss you so much...so much...and you dont have a clue..I hope I haven't blown it- is it too late???  
  
Nobody gets too much heaven no more, it's much harder to come by  
I'm waiting in line....  
Nobody gets too much love anymore, it's as high as a mountain  
And harder to climb...  
  
If you can hear me, come to me....Who are you kidding? He can't hear you! Even if he could...he wouldnt come..no not for you...maybe they're all right about him,  
does he even know HOW to love? Or ...is he...with her? Does she love him back? Why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I just...why can't I just sleep?  
  
Nobody gets too much heaven no more, it's much harder to come by  
I'm waiting in line....  
Nobody gets too much love anymore, it's as high as a mountain  
And harder to climb...  
  
Please, come to me! I need you now more than ever...I can't give you up, even if..she loves you as much as I love you, why are things so hard for me? Why is it so hard for me to love...and be loved?  
If she loves you, as much as I do, that means she needs you too...I can't do this to her...I can't take him from her...maybe...this is how it's suppose to end..him ..with her?  
  
How do I deal, with how I feel?  
How to reveal...  
  
I dont think I could go on without having you with me...but there isnt a damn thing i can do if you dont love me back..  
  
Oooh... what is real love,  
As another day fades away,  
So I say.....  
  
She couldnt help but shiver in the darkness, she wondered if she would ever have the chance...would she ever really find the strength?  
  
Nobody gets too much heaven no more, it's much harder to come by  
I'm waiting in line....  
Nobody gets too much love anymore, it's as high as a mountain  
And harder to climb...  
  
This is the end of the song my love, but you are not here, is this a sign? Has my love been misplaced? ...I wish I knew...I wish you would come during our song...  
  
Nobody gets too much heaven no more, it's much harder to come by  
I'm waiting in line....  
Nobody gets too much love anymore, it's as high as a mountain  
And harder to climb...  
  
  
She finished the song just as the once strong beat of the rain against her window quieted down into nothing...it was all over, the thunderous  
drum had ended, her trembling voice had finished singing the words from her heart...  
"That was our song...I hope you heard it, wherever you are.."  
  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, somewhat of a familiar knock...could it be? Her heart jumped with excitement..but was it true, had he heard her?  
She opened the door with an uneasy, shaking hand and gasped.  
"Good evening Tomoyo". The girl was shocked to say the least, he HAD come, but...how?... She stared at her love in disbelief..  
"Erio...Eriol-Kun is that you?" she questioned him trembling.  
"Yes, I have been out here all night throwing stones at your window trying to get your attention!"  
Tomoyo gasped in horror, it wasnt raining????   
"But...wasn't it raining? There was thunder too.."  
"...No not thunder it was just me kicking that tree next to your window, I was debating if I should climb up...I...didn't want to invaid your privacy..."  
Tomoyo's lips turned into a smile, until she laughed herself to tears.  
"I thought..I thought it was raining, my power went out.."  
"Uh..sorry that was me again I tripped on some wiring out here..."  
She laughed some more, she had been asking, wondering where he was, when the whole time...he was there?  
"Why didn't you just knock on the door in the first place?"  
"I didnt want to wake your mother.....I'm sorry Tomoyo that I disturbed you....I just..had to see you"  
Tomoyo grinned some more.  
"You could never disturb me...besides...this is the best surprise I have ever had happen to me.."  
Eriol smiled a smile she had never seen before.   
"Uh, Tomoyo, there is something I ve been wanting to do since...well for a very long time"  
Tomoyo looked into his eyes and felt so happy.  
He leaned in closer until their lips met in a sweet kiss.  
"Oh..by the way uh can I come in, its freezing out here!"  
Tomoyo laughed and nodded, her prayers were answered. She blushed a deep red, and to think that he loved her best friend Sakura...what was she thinking?  
She loves Syaoran, and he loves her...I wonder when he's coming back from Hong Kong, she's been waiting so long...  
Tomoyo turned her attention back to Eriol and closed the door.  
"You know Tomoyo...I ve been trying to call you a lot lately but you were never home, or it was busy"  
She was speechless, they just kept calling each other and missed their calls, what were the odds?  
Eriol approached his love and held her tightly.  
"Your a great singer Tomoyo, I heard the whole song...that song will always be known as "OUR song", ok?"  
Tomoyo giggled.  
"Oh Eriol I love you so much.."  
"I love you too, Tomoyo..."  
They kissed once again, then she took him to her room. She found her stereo, turned on the radio, it was playing their song, it was half way through...   
  
.......Something's going on, what is wrongI want you to be here, why won't you come  
And spend some time with me, can't you seeHave we come undone  
Is this the end of our song......  
  
The beat of the song was no longer the "rain", now the beat had an echo...from the rustlingt bed sheets and soft whispers of declaration of love...  
  
  
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hehe how was that? R&R please, should i write another M2M song fic????   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Dont Mess With My Love..

Hehe, yes I m back after a day of pondering what to write next. Thank you so much to those of you who read my stuff & a special  
thank you to the reviews who encourage me to keep going. This is yet another M2M song fic, why? cause i love their music hehe!  
I decided to do Dont Mess With My Love, Girl in Your Dreams will be next, then Pretty Boy and so on.. Anyways this takes place  
the day after Sakura's dream with Syaoran, Our Song happened the same night as Sakura's dream, which is why is said they were related indirectly.  
So technically this is part 3 for M2M song fics written by yours truly.  
THANK YOU: Midori Iro (I understand what you meant hehe), Anime Princess, Cherry, Raven of course Micheal (don't worry your still my inspiration!) for reviewing Our Song.  
  
  
Don't Mess With My Love!  
  
After a long day, she finally took the time to sit down and relax. She yawned quietly as she resumed her position at the window from the night before.  
Last night, she had a wonderful dream, she and her love were together, reunited at last. They held each other, never wanting to let go. She had so many  
things to say, as did he, but they felt words were better expressed as actions. It was a peaceful dream, where only happiness reigned supreme.  
They knew that was all their encounter was, a dream, but it seemed so real, so vivid that such a technically went unoticed. Sakura felt that before such a beautiful  
thing could come to an end, she needed to tell Syaoran how she felt, so she sang to him with her heart. As the dream ended, she could remember him saying he  
would return and not to give up even though she felt that was all she could do- give up. But as she stared into his beautiful loving eyes she knew that he was too good  
to give up on. This morning when she woke up, she felt so refreshed with a new found confidence that her love would return to her at long last. He felt so close even  
though he was so far. She refused however to give up hope, not after all this waiting, hoping, praying and wishing every night as tears rolled down her face. No, her tears  
would not have been shed in vain, he would be back soon, she knew it. She wanted to talk to him so badly, but knew he would be resting after a long day of hard training.  
' I wish I could remind him that I'm waiting for him, I want him to know that my heart is standing still for him. '  
She decided she would leave a message on his machine, declaring her love for him, in hopes he would hear it. She mentally apologized if she was to wake him up with  
the sound of the phone ringing, but he did love her right? So what's a couple of minutes of sleep gone when he can speak to his cherry blossom...  
She picked up the phone with shaky hands..  
' Maybe this isn't such a good idea, I don't want to disturb him...'  
She then took up all the courage she could muster and dialed his number, she giggled as she realized how much the phone bill would cost after the many times they would  
call each other in the wee hours of the morning. The phone began to ring, once, twice, and the third time there was a hello...it was..a girl that answered groggily.  
There was something familiar about her voice as well...  
"TOMOYO???"  
"Oh, hi Sakura, is everything ok?" she yawned obviously was disturbed by the phone call.  
"What...What...How..HOW could you.." Sakura could feel hot tears make their way down her cheeks much like the night before, only this time, it seemed her best friend in the entire  
world had stolen her love!  
"Sakura..what is it? Is it Syaoran? Sakura tell me what's wrong.." her voice oozing with concern.  
"YOU!!!...I CANT ...BELIEVE YOU..WOULD HURT ME LIKE THIS!"  
"What? ..Oh Sakura..." Tomoyo wondered, did she still have feelings for Eriol???? "You still...you still love him don't you.."  
"OF COURSE I LOVE HIM" Sakura wondered how Tomoyo had the audacity to do this to her best friend!  
"I'm so sorry Sakura, but..but I love him too! there was awkward silence. Eriol woke up to Tomoyo's shaky voice, who had...spent the night.  
"YOUR SORRY? I have loved him since day one...and you..you steal him after sleeping with him? IS THAT HOW YOU STOLE HIM FROM ME?" Sakura was so hurt, a stake through her heart. Tomoyo stealing the man she had loved since they were 10 years old!  
How could she!? Wasn't Tomoyo her best friend in the entire universe???? And what was Syaoran doing back already? WITHOUT even telling her that he loved her best friend! No, this, this is was just too much to handle!  
Sakura was angry, hurt and confused! Since when had Tomoyo had feelings for Syaoran???  
Tomoyo felt the same way. Since when had Sakura developed such deep feelings for Eriol??? She knew they had gone out a couple of times in the past, but this...this was now! Eriol was HERS and she wasnt going to let Sakura take him, not after LAST night!  
No way! Sakura was her best friend but if she wanted war, then so be it! Eriol was hers!  
Sakura was so shocked among other things, she called Syoaran only to be talking with TOMOYO!?? This didn't make sense, but her mind was clouded by the possible chance of losing her first and only love! Syaoran was hers! Sakura's other half! If Tomoyo wanted to fight that,  
well then too bad, she wasn't going to give him up, not after that dream, nu uh no way!  
Sakura was fuming with anger so she began to speak her mind...  
"I thought you were a friend of mine but I was wrong...  
You tried to fit into the arms where I belong  
You moved right in behind my back!  
Everyone knows friends don't do that!"  
Tomoyo caught on almost immediately!  
"I thought you were somebody I could trust. You always said you were happy for us!  
How could you go and break my heart?  
When you knew all along he was MINE from the start" Tomoyo replied just as angrily.  
Sakura felt threatned now, but not defeated! "He is everything to me. And you know we're meant to be, he's my baby!  
Don't mess with my love!"  
Tomoyo continued as Eriol watched her in confusion.   
"Take everything I own. Ooh just leave that boy alone! He's my baby! Don't mess with my..."  
Sakura finished Tomoyo's thought by simply saying "Mess with my love. Don't mess with my love!"  
Both girls were fuming! Sakura thought Tomoyo had been having an affair with Syaoran! Tomoyo thought Sakura was saying she still loved Eriol and she still wanted him back!  
"You came right over and looked in my eyes  
You said the stories were rumors and lies, and I wish I could believe in you  
But I'm sorry to say he told me the truth" Sakura continued while teary eyed..  
So many times Tomoyo had told Sakura that no one made a better couple than Sakura and Syaoran! Meilin used to say that Tomoyo had feelings for Syaoran too! Tomoyo always denied those "lies"  
and now to find out the rumours were true? This hurt so much...why Tomoyo? Sakura had always figured, Tomoyo and Eriol made the best couple..  
Tomoyo continued the song just as hurt and whole heartedly, "He is everything to me! And you know we're meant to be! He's my baby  
Don't mess with my love! Take everything I own! Ooh just leave that boy alone! He's my baby! Don't mess with my, mess with my love. Don't mess with my love  
Both Sakura and Tomoyo cried uncontrollably into the phone! The audacious Sakura! thouht Tomoyo. The heartless Tomoyo! thought Sakura.  
Eriol remained half asleep on the bed staring at Tomoyo, wondering what was going on! He knew Sakura was on the phone, and that Tomoyo seemed protective and defensive, probably mirroring Sakura's actions as well.  
"Friends don't do what you do!There's no excuse! I'm so confused, I thought you cared about me! But now I see, all you care about is you!"  
Tomoyo's heart broke as she heard such harsh words coming from Sakura! They had been friends for what seemed like an eternity, they did everything together, and now it seemed they were fighting over the same guy!  
Tomoyo always wanted Sakura to be happy, always! So did that mean..she would give up her heart for Sakura's happiness, that didn't seem fair to Tomoyo...what was she going to do about this?  
"He is everything to me! And you know we're meant to be! He's my baby, don't mess with my love!"  
"Take everything I own! Ooh just leave that boy alone! He's my baby!Don't mess with my.."  
"Mess with my love.."  
"Don't mess with my love"!!!  
Sakura had the final word but she did feel like a winner, no. It seemed she would lose her love or her best friend? Her heart shattered in too many pieces to ever be repared.  
Silence filled both rooms. Tears dropped to the once dry carpet. Uncontrollable sobs we're heard from both girls, even though filled with anger they tried to hide it.  
Tomoyo was so close to defeat! Sakura was just as close as well.   
'Is he worth that much that I would lose my very best friend?' they both thought in unison.  
Eriol saw his girlfriend's heart tear apart and couldn't do nothing any longer! He had to do something! There was nothing worth two best friends like Sakura and Tomoyo preparing to lose their friendship over!  
Eriol grabbed another phone from Tomoyo's house and spoke into it.  
"TOMOYO, SAKURA THIS IS NONSENSE!"  
Sakura and Tomoyo both jumped at the sudden shouting.  
"Look," his voice now quiet and calm, "what is going on? Sakura I thought you loved Syaoran, since when do you love me? I'm sorry Sakura, my friend, but I..I love Tomoyo, I hope you can understand that.."  
"E..Eriol.." spoke Sakura in shock...  
"What are you both doing in HONG KONG??"   
Tomoyo and Eriol looked quizzically at each other, hong kong? What?  
Sakura's sobs subsided and began to giggle.  
Tomoyo and Eriol face vaulted.  
Tomoyo spoke "S..Sa..Sakura...? Nani?"  
Sakura spoke in between giggles, "You, He...Syaoran is.." she couldnt control herself.  
"Sakura, what is wrong with you?" asked Eriol getting somewhat annoyed.  
"I'm so sorry Tomoyo Chan, Eriol...I ...I did the weirdest thing!"  
Tomoyo and Eriol stayed silent urging her to share the joke.  
"You see Tomoyo Chan, my intention was to call Syaoran and tell him how much I missed him. But I guess I accidentally dialed your number instead.  
I thought I was calling Syaoran's number and dialed yours by mistake! I heard your voice and I thought you and Syaoran were lovers behind my back!  
Tomoyo understood now! Sakura was still in love with Syaoran.  
"Oh Sakura! I'm so sorry too! I thought..I thought you were declaring your love for Eriol-kun, I was so angry because he and I have finally gotten together Sakura chan."  
Silence.  
Then Sakura spoke up in happiness " YOU AND ERIOL? I KNEW IT! I knew you liked him Tomoyo Chan."  
Tomoyo giggled "Well that makes one of us, I hadn't known until...well until not too long ago."  
Sakura gasped in surprise "So, Eriol...is ..with you right now??? YOU MEAN YOU AND ERIOL.."  
Tomoyo took a moment to comprehend what Sakura was asking about, and she finally understood.  
"Oh Sakura, Eriol spent the night last night and tonight but..we're not..we're not sleeping together.." Tomoyo looked at Eriol and mouthed "Not yet anyways"  
Sakura giggled.  
"Sakura I'm sorry we had this fight, it was just a big misunderstanding.."  
"Tomoyo, it was entirely MY fault! To think YOU and Syaoran?"  
"What? What about me and Syaoran, he's pretty hot you know.."  
Sakura gasped, oh no!  
Tomoyo laughed hysterically, "I'm joking Sakura, sorry"  
Both girls laughed until they couldn't laugh anymore, Eriol sat on a chair dumbfounded. "Women".  
Tomoyo and Sakura finally hung up the phone.  
"Tomoyo, I want you to know that I love you and only you, you know that right?"  
Tomoyo nodded "I had no idea you would ever pick me over Sakura or anyone else for that matter, I'm sorry Eriol I didn't realize you cared for me that much.."  
"It's called love, Tomoyo, you have claimed my heart, and no one can ever erase your name from it, it has been permanently engraved, remember that."  
Tomoyo began to cry.  
"Tomoyo wha'ts..what's wrong?"  
"Oh..nothing Eriol, it's just, I 've seen love in the movies, and I've witnessed it with Sakura and Syaoran but..but I never imagined I would be blessed with such a gift..."  
"Why not? You are the most unique, loveable person one could hope to meet, or fall in love with. I'm the luckiest guy in the world Tomoyo."  
Tomoyo smiled lovingly.  
"Oh Eriol". They kissed softly.  
"I never knew a girl would pick me over their best friend, Tomoyo."  
"I would fight for you until the last breathe, even if it meant war against Sakura, it would hurt but, you..I can't compromise you, not even to Sakura chan."  
Eriol was touched.  
"If anyone ever tried to take you from my Eriol, I would just say..."  
"Don't Mess With My Love?"  
They laughed and headed back towards the bed ...with the rustling sheets..  
  
R&R please, it probably wont be as popular as the others but I hope a few of you liked it :) Look out, Girl in Your Dreams is next...with Pretty Boy not too far behind!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. The Girl In Your Dreams..

Ahem! I am deeply hurt by the fact that two people reviewed dont mess with my love. *sobs *sobs* thanks Mikey *sniff sniff* & Midori iro, my totally loyal fans lol.  
Anyways, this isnt S&S ..well it is at the very end...but I figured this is an itty bitty one compared to the others. Pretty Boy will be my next one, and Why will probably be after that,   
so if you hate this one & hated the last one, the really cute lovey dovey S&S ones are coming! So Dont hate me lol, R&R.  
  
Girl In Your Dreams...  
  
Syaoran sat on his couch in deep thought with a smile plastered on his face, he would soon be able to go back...  
He was overjoyed once his mother explained that she cared more for his happiness than the Clan ever would. She could  
read her son so easily. She had known even before he had that he cared for Sakura more than he had let on. She knew how horrible  
it must have been for him to leave the one girl he had ever truly loved.  
"Sakura" he sighed quietly to himself "I promise you, you won't go another day in pain.."  
Syaoran pictured how beautiful his cherry blossom must be at this time, it had been so long since he had gone to Hong Kong and left his Cherry Blossom   
behind. It killed him to see the way her eyes fell into pain. He had wished that she never loved him sometimes so she would never have to deal with pain & sorrow.  
But soon that would all change, very soon, he could feel it, all he needed now was a plane ticket. Suddenly there was a knock at his door.  
"Syaoran, I've come to talk to you.."  
"Meilin? Wha.."  
"Syaoran I cant let you...I cant let you leave Hong Kong, your place is here, leader of the Clan, with..with me by your side." her voice now in a shushed whisper.  
"Meiling..I love Sakura don't you know that by now? I'm sorry, really I am but there isn't much I can do about it.."  
Meilin felt tears descend her cheeks. She wished there was something she could do.   
"Syaoran...you've left me no other choice, I've convinced all the elders that you cannot go back to Japan, that you are needed here..."  
"You did WHAT? Meilin, instead of trying to ruin my life try ruining your own!" Syaoran cried.  
"Syaoran, I'm trying to protec.."  
"PROTECT ME? From what? From Sakura?"  
"Exactly! Kinomoto is no good for you Syaoran she can't give you what you want, she can't give you what you NEED! You NEED me! Soon you'll WANT me"  
"NO, Meilin I've tried to be nice about this but this is ridiculous! You can't control my life!"  
"I CAN, because soon I will be your wife & there is NOTHING Sakura can do about that!"  
"What...Meiling what are you.."  
"I'm saying...Syaoran, I have decided that the arranged marriage IS what I want & so you see you can't leave out of respect for Hong Kong, your home, your family, your CLAN and me."  
"Meiling YOU CANT do this...I dont understand why you would do this!.."  
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.."  
"Meilin...I love you too but not in that way...we're family that's all...there is no you & me together...do you understand?"  
Meiling nodded. "I understand...but..I ..I can't let you go to be with her...the wedding is on..I'm sorry..". Meilin departed in sadness & in anger.  
Was she doing the right choice? He does want to go back to her, and she is the only one that can make him happy...but..what about her? Was she just something people could walk all over?  
Sakura could have any guy in the world, yet she chooses Syaoran. Meilin was filled with jealousy & envy but the sentiments she was feeling couldn't compare to the sadness her love was feeling.  
Meilin entered her room & shut her door quietly.  
  
I was walking down the street one day, then I saw you I didn't know what to say..  
You're eyes were shining. You're smile was so kind.  
When I saw you I wanted you to be mine  
  
Meiling took out an old picture of her & Syaoran by a cherry blossom tree..she couldnt help but cry, there was no fighting it she would always be in his life.  
Who was she kidding she knew she couldnt keep him...he wasnt just some prize or a pet..he was a human being with wants & needs. The more she acknowledged this the more she wanted to buy him a one way trip back into her arms..but still, what about her?  
  
Maybe I don't have the blonde hair you like  
Or maybe I don't have eyes like the sky  
And I'm not sure if I'm the girl in your dreams  
But I can show you what love means...  
  
She sat on the edge of her bed, torn. Should she let him go? for the sake of his happiness? Or should she keep him & have a life of hatred, anger...depression..  
Why was this so hard? The choice was obvious wasn't it! She was just as important as any other, was she not? Sakura had nothing on her! right? Who was she trying to convince..She would NEVER be the girl in his dreams...no..that wouldnt happen because...there would always be something better...  
her name was Sakura...  
  
One day you came and talked to meAnd you said we are meant to be  
I was happy, everything was so nice  
But then I found out that everything was a lie  
  
It was all because he wanted to be leader of that stupid Clan! All he wanted was to please the elders growing up, but now...now he wants to live for no one else but himself...with his Cherry Blossom..  
What was she going to do? The noble thing to do would be to let him go, she was never hers to begin with..not really. But if she let him go, she would be left alone, heartless, left with nothing...  
  
Maybe I don't have the blonde hair you like  
Or maybe I don't have eyes like the sky  
And I'm not sure if I'm the girl in your dreams  
But I can show you what love means..  
  
Or maybe I can't???? Can I even love at all?...Do..I actually LOVE Syaoran? Or is this some perverbeal game of mine! I can't even tell when I'm lying to myself! What is wrong with me? Is my mind clouded so much so that I can't even differentiate between love & like? Do I only love him because I was told to?  
Do I even love who I am? Look what I have become! Meilin you have changed in age but you..you have not. You are still the same selfish little girl that challenged people all your life just so you could prove you were better! But what if that saying was right?  
What if...if you think your better than everyone..maybe your not better than anyone at all? Could it be that she had stooped so low that she couldnt recognize herself in the miror?   
Maybe..she had never loved Syaoran..maybe it was just a ploy to prove she was better than Sakura..that just because she didn't have magic that she had heart and she had determination..but in reality maybe those were the things she was lacking among other things.  
What..what is going on? Have I developed a conscience? Or..or maybe...it's been there the whole time, but I refused to listen to logic and reason...  
  
How could you do this to me!  
How could you make me love you & leave me behind??? WHY? ...is this even love?  
  
  
You said we are meant to be!  
YOU DID so long ago! You told me you would marry me!..but..did YOU mean it? Or was it just to please the elders, a thought that has continuously popped into my mind...maybe they were never meant to be...maybe that was the problem the entire time..  
  
  
You showed me how to cry  
When you told me everything was a lie  
  
I was so hurt the first time I noticed you had deep feelings for Sakura..why was I so blind!? Thinking I could come between you both..?  
Oh Syaoran..what do I do? Part of me says I need to let you go..but the other..the other wants you for myself...what now?  
  
Maybe I don't have the blonde hair you like  
Or maybe I don't have eyes like the sky  
And I'm not sure if I'm the girl in your dreams  
But I can show you what love means....  
  
Wait! WAIT A MINUTE! I DONT GIVE UP! WHY AM I GIVING UP! SO WHAT IF HE DOESNT LOVE ME! I CAN MAKE HIM LOVE ME! YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME SYAORAN YOU PROMISED TO LONG AGO!! AND YOU WILL!  
YOU WILL!!!!...but why do i feel so horrible? I'm not giving up, so should I be happy? ...I Meilin REFUSE to give up...no way...  
I CANT show you what love means! I love you that's why!!!! Am I lying to myself again????..  
"NO, YOU LOVE HIM"  
do i really? Or do I love the IDEA of being in love with him..  
"YOU LOVE HIM YOU LOVE HIM"  
oh ya? than why are you having this conversation with yourself!?  
"SHUT UP JUST STOP IT!!"  
you know he will never love you the way he loves her...Sakura claimed his heart years ago..you never had his heart..never will..  
Meilin broke down into tears & sobs. ...She wasnt about to lose him...no way especially not to Sakura!  
  
****************************************************  
  
Syaoran could swear he heard yelling from Meilin's room, was she having doubts afterall? Maybe she was going to break off the engagement.  
Anyhow it seemed she was in deep conflict with herself, her heart wanting one thing, her head another. He sighed as he saw an image of his love, Sakura in tears once again, when he had to tell her he was marrying Meilin..  
NO it wouldnt come to that! It could never come to that!   
Suddenly Meilin walked into his room again...  
"Come lover, it's time to prepare for the wedding!" she yelled triumphantly.  
Syaoran couldnt believe it, had the years of annoyance her way ever got into her thick head? Didn't she realize this was wrong? All of it was so wrong!?  
"Meilin..I will NEVER love you the way I love Sakura!"  
"SHUT UP! I LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME SYAORAN! YOU WILL LOVE ME!!!"  
She began to cry again..she wasn't ready to lose him...  
  
Suddenly the phone rang..  
Syaoran answered.  
"Moshi moshi, Syaoran speaking..."  
"Syaoran, I miss you so much when are you coming back?"  
Syaoran looked at Meilin with anger in his eyes...he was nt sure he would ever be going back to Japan....  
"...Soon my love soon...I'm sorry I have to let you go, ..I ve got to train I ll call you back later, I love you Sakura.." he hung up the phone to see Meilin in tears, yet filled with anger.  
"You are NEVER going back there, you hear me? I WONT allow it! AS YOUR FIANCE.."  
"You are NOT my finance...because I am NOT going to marry you!"  
Meilin realized her grip on him was loosening, she was beginning to lose faith & confidence in herself. She refused to give up, she ran to him and kissed him hoping he would respond, but he backed away angrily..  
He was ready to scream & declare his love for his cherry blossom to get the message clear to her but he couldnt, there was too much sadness & loneliness in her eyes...  
"I am truly sorry Meilin...but.."  
"I know.." she nodded & pointed to the door..  
Syaoran was taken aback by this, was she setting him free from such bondage?  
"Syaoran...I...I know you love her..and no one..nothing can ever change that...so I ask that you go to her...as my wedding gift" she looked up and smiled..  
"I really love you , you know that right?"  
"I love you too..but it doesnt go into more depth than family..."  
Meilin nodded sadly while still pointing to the door.  
"Please Syaoran, leave now..before I regret my choice...go to her..."  
Syaoran was about to leave, but hugged his cousin gingerly.  
"Don't forget to invite me to the wedding, Syaoran.."  
Syaoran smiled one of his rare smiles.  
"Don't worry..."  
"Syaoran..I know I'm not the girl your dreams...but"  
"You ll be able to show your other half what love means Meilin...don't give up on your heart, it will guide you..I guarantee it.."  
Syaoran left after an emotion goodbye to return home to his cherry blossom.  
"Sakura...I'm coming..I'm coming home...and I promise to make you my wife ..."  
Syaoran smiled to himself remembering that the girl in his dreams would forever be his..  
  
R&R plz! I thought I 'd squeeze this one in here to explain a bit about Meilin. SYAORAN IS RETURNING HOME YAYAYAYAYAYA!  
S&S next couple of stories i promise!  
next will be..the long awaited PRETTY BOY...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Pretty Boy!

  
  
Pretty Boy would be fitting to continue S&S, it's amazing how well the songs fit, yay M2M! Thanks Michael for suggesting this song,  
your my number one inspiration :) so don't go anywhere, lotz more m2m songs coming. Ok well the first was the Day you went away, which  
was S&S, then came Our Song which was T&E for a cute little change (I'm glad people liked them). Dont Mess with My Love was third, a nice misunderstanding b/n Sakura and Tomoyo. Then Girl of Your Dreams, which was Meilin's POV to Syaoran trying to make him stay in Hong Kong, but he is on his way to..Japan yay!  
So part 5 i suppose is Pretty Boy,. Oh and of course i do not own CCS characters nor will i ever,  
and these songs are M2M's, i'm just a huge fan. OOH *HUGZ TO ALL THE REVIEWERS FOR ALL MY FICS!! THANX!!!!*  
  
Pretty Boy  
  
"Oh Syaoran" Sakura whispered quietly "I'm still waiting for you..." a single tear fell from her eye which hit Kero's drawer. He slowly opened his drawer to find Sakura sitting at her desk  
in deep thought. He knew exactly what she was thinking about...more like exactly who she was thinking about. He could tell how much she loved him, he had to admit that he saw that same love in Syaoran for her.  
In some ways it was great, but other ways it was just so tragic. At this rate Sakura's heart ache will consume her, she may have found a new glimpse of hope but will that be enough?  
Every so often he would notice her looking out to the stars again, he knew what she was wishing for.   
'If that Chinese brat doesn't come back, I'll mail myself to Hong Kong and I ll kick his...'  
"Kero? What are you doing awake?" Sakura asked questionably  
"Oh...I was just...making sure you weren't crying for that Li brat again.."  
"KERO! Why can't you see him for what he really is? He's so kind, sweet & gentle.."  
"Who gave you grief for a long time until you started working together & still gave you grief..."  
"And..warm, considerate..."  
"Annoying, arrogant, ignorant at times.."  
"...with gorgeous eyes & hair, a captivating smile that captured my heart time after time.."  
"Sakura...maybe you should get some sleep.."  
"Kero...thank you for worrying so much about me, I know you love me and only want what's best for me, but without Syaoran  
I dont think I will ever truly be happy again.."  
Kero blushed, was his loyalty & love really that obvious?  
"..g-night Sakura, sleep tight.."  
"You too..my friend"  
Sakura looked to her inviting bed, maybe she would fall asleep & dream a beautiful dream again.  
"Oh Syaoran, I love you so much, I only wish you could be here, but I trust you...I know you, I know you will keep your promise, when have you ever let me down?"  
Sakura smiled and let her head hit her soft comfy pillow. She wouldnt let a speck of doubt enter her mind or her heart. She was determined to stay positive,  
she wait forever for him he was worth it. 'I wonder...I wonder if he's thinking about me right now..'  
  
*******************************************  
  
Syaoran had booked himself on a one way trip back to Japan, his mind full of ideas to make Sakura happy forever.  
He smiled as he thought of her sweet smelling scent of cherry blossoms, of her gorgeous emerald eyes, of that cute noise she makes when she's suprised.  
He wondered if she was sleeping. The image of her petite body curled up with a smirk on her face made him smile, she was so innocent & cute when she slept.  
Syaoran found himself blushing as he remembered the dream they had shared. He never questioned how was that possible, how could they have shared a dream?  
Dream walking was very rare, but maybe they created a dream for themselves out of desperation..but primarily of love, adoration & happiness.  
He couldnt help but wonder if she would actually agree to marry him in the future. He wouldn't ask her immediately, no first they would enjoy dating  
& the making out...Syaoran instantly blushed a deep red as his pictured how sweet her lips would taste to him.   
'Sakura, soon my love, soon I will have you all to myself, forever'  
Syaoran finally fell asleep with sweet dreams of his cherry blossom dancing in his mind. They would soon be reunited, not in the dream world, but in the real world.  
  
**********************************************  
  
Sakura tried to fall asleep but she kept feeling this tingling feeling in the back of her mind, she sensed something.  
She shot out of bed to call on the sealing wand, but ceased because it was'nt a clow card or danger she was sensing, rather she was sensing her love,  
Syaoran, her pretty boy! He was coming home! His aura neared hers & she could feel his coming closer by the second!  
'Syaoran...is he..on a plane or sumthin? He's coming back! I knew he would!'  
Suddenly the excitment was too much to bare she nearly fell over realizing she had leaped from the bed and sensed him all in one swift movement.  
She returned to her bed to rest for a little as she awaited his arrival.  
'Soon Syaoran, soon..' She turned on her stereo to listen to the song that instantely cried out "Syaoran"  
  
  
I lie awake at night. See things in black and white.  
I've only got you inside my mind. You know you have made me blind.  
  
Sakura smiled at how true all of that was. For months, years all she thought about was him, never a day went by where her mind did not think of him.  
She wondered if he felt the same for her, he must have otherwise he would not have kept his promise, he would never had made such a promise.  
The thought of him made her feel like dancing, the sight of him made her weak in the knees, his voice sounded like an angel's and his eyes, his eyes were always a pool of emotion.  
So many times she would doubt they were even friends, but the second she looked into his eyes, she saw determination, loyalty and what seemed to be affection.  
She never believed the rumors, she never thought twice about why Tomoyo caused so many problems over missing a capture. Maybe she knew this would happen. Maybe she knew one day she and Syaoran would unite themselves, taping special moments was like a diary.  
Sakura remembered how many times she would listen to her stereo, and this song would magically play..sometimes without ever needing to turn on the stereo at all, other times the cd was never present inside the stereo.  
She knew that there was some magic between them, maybe she always knew, she just couldn't believe it...it was too good to be true.  
  
I lie awake and pray. That you will look my way. I have all this longing in my heart  
I knew it right from the start!  
  
From the moment they met, she knew he was someone special. She could feel there was something so unique about him that made him mysteriously special.  
In the beginning he had tried to instill fear in her, out of loyalty to the Li family, he had a job to do & had to do it. Somewhere down the line, things changed he wasn't after capturing the clow cards at all, maybe...her heart was what he was after...  
She would always smile his way even on the gloomiest day in hopes he would one day smile back. There were times she could catch him from the corner of her eye, she would would see him watch her, watch her every move not in a hunter surveys his prey but more like...  
a hunter surveys his love.   
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you, like I never ever loved no one before you  
  
'Syaoran you were my first love, and forever you will be my only love, it seems that life without you it's not worth living'  
Tears of joy fell from her eyes, his aura felt closer, they were so close, so very close to each other now.  
  
Pretty pretty boy of mine.....Just tell me you love me too  
  
*****************************************************  
  
As if on cue, Syaoran's eyes with a start...  
"I love you Sakura, only you, forever and always.."  
He couldnt believe it, he would be home in no time. This time tomorrow, the little wolf and his cherry blossom would be together forever..reunited at last..  
'Good things are worth waiting for...'  
Suddenly the captain's concerned voice was heard throughout the plane..  
"It seems a storm is heading our way, please do not be alarmed, everything will be alright, just sit back and relax"  
Thunder was soon heard followed by a shriek of lightning illuminating the fear in the children's faces and the look of helplessness in their parents' eyes...  
Syaoran was in a state of shock, could this be an obstacle in his way? No, he wouldnt let that happen, it took him too long to realize how true his feelings were for his love, he would not lose her now...not now..  
  
****************************************************  
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy, I need you  
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do  
  
'Syaoran I feel you getting closer, I'm so happy Syaoran, so happy...I never want to be away from you again, not ever again..'  
Sakura smiled to the sky, her smile was then turned into a frown followed by immediate worry plastered in her shining emerald eyes.  
"A storm..." she whispered to herself, praying her love would return safely.  
'It's Syaoran, of course he'll return safely, he's invincible as he says..' her quick smirk was soon whipped of her face as the sky shrieked with thunder while the stars shone brightly with lightning...  
"You better come back to me Syaoran...you have..to..."  
She felt like she needed to cry but was soon comforted by a glow in her drawer.  
"Do not fret my Mistress, he will be alright.."  
Sakura smiled down at her clow cards lovingly and replied "I know, my friends, I know.."  
  
Let me inside. Make me stay right beside you  
  
***************************************************  
  
Syaoran held the arms of his seat nervously, it seemed the storm's intensity was increasing rapidly, would they make it through?  
"This is your captain speaking, the storm has intensified with great strength please stay in your seats and ensure your seat belts are on tightly"  
Syaoran could feel the tension in the captain's voice. He sensed that the captain was debating what to do, he knew they were a little more than half way to Hong Kong, and it would seem to risky to find somewhere to land.  
'Oh Sakura, I dont ...I don't think I'm going to make it...I guess I failed to keep my promise...Oh God, please...please let me see my cherry blossom one last time..'  
Syaoran's heart ached, he didn't want to see her one last time ..he wanted to spend an eternity with her.   
  
*************************************************  
  
I used to write your name. And put it in a frame  
And sometimes I think I hear you call, right from my bedroom wall..  
  
Sakura's head jerked up, it was as if she had heard Syaoran's final request. FINAL request? Sakura's heart leaped to her throat, was she going to lose him?   
"Oh God, please no, don't take him, don't take my Syaoran please" Sakura cried as she punched her pillow in anguish.   
"Please Syaoran, dont give up, I need you! I LOVE YOU...SYAORAN! DONT LEAVE ME!"  
  
************************************************  
  
Syaoran could have sworn he heard Sakura's voice, he wasn't going to give up, this storm was NOT going to take away his dream...  
But what could he do?  
'Sakura, my love, I love you too...I need you....I don't want to leave you, not now not ever...believe in our love, this isn't over'  
Suddenly the plane jerked about in the sky. Would the violent winds, treaturous rain, thwarting thunder & lightning destroy Li Syaoran?  
  
***********************************************  
  
You stay a little while. And touch me with your smile  
  
In between sobs Sakura pleaded with Syaoran not to let go. You can't leave me ...no...not after all this...not after making me fall in love with you, not after  
you showed me what true love was...not after your tender smile & loving face...no, you can't leave me alone like this Syaoran! I WONT LET YOU!  
  
And what can I say to make you mine. To reach out for you in time  
  
"Oh Syaoran I have all this power, why can't I think of a way to save you!? " Sakura reached out as if trying to reach for her love's hand to protect him from harm...  
Sakura then collapsed to the ground clutching her stomache as if in pain. She curled up against the wall, crying to herself, praying, wishing, hoping for something, someone to save him...  
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you. Like I never ever loved no one before you  
Pretty pretty boy of mine. Just tell me you love me too.....  
  
********************************************  
  
Syaoran could feel the plane no longer being controled by the captain's controls.  
"Attention prepare for impact, we are losing velocity quickly, passengers stay calm,...and may God have mercy on us all.."  
The plane jerked some more swaying back and forth vibrantly. Screaming passengers were the last thing Syaoran heard....  
  
********************************************  
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy, I need you...  
  
Sakura's head jerked up as she felt Syaoran's aura...fading...fading...nearly gone..  
"No...no...no....n..o...Sy..Sya..Syaoran....you...you...YOU CANT LEAVE ME I NEED YOU!!!!! I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU"  
she screamed out her window in pain, in utter pain. There was no sufficient amount of tears that could fall that would show the pain she was subjected to. Her heart ached as if ready to stop.  
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do. Let me inside, make me stay right beside you....  
  
Sakura looked up to the sky once more, the storm had subsided, but the pain, the pain had not, and never would...Sakura began to feel angry, betrayed...  
"YOU PROMISED ME SYAORAN! YOU PROMISED!!! YOU PROMISED!!!!!! YOU LIAR!!!! SYAORAN!!!!!!!!!..." her screams became a sudden whisper..."...I ...need you...you said you would never leave me...why...did you..lie to me..."  
Sakura rolled herself into a ball against her wall..  
"I swear to you...if you...leave me...I WILL SOON FOLLOW BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!! you think you can just GO and LEAVE ME? NO I would rather DIE than live without you Syaoran YOU HEAR ME I WOULD RATHER DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS THAN TO LIVE ONE MINUTE WITHOUT YOU!!!!!"  
  
Oh pretty boy. Say you love me too...  
  
Kero had woken up long ago, he sat alone, quietly in his drawer, secretly crying. Praying, wishing, waiting for some miracle to save him for her.  
'Oh please magicians of the world, don't ...don't let her suffer...she doesn't deserve such pain, her heart so kind, so true, save her love...save him...'  
Kero began to cry, each tear withheld a memory of Sakura's happiness with her love...Kero felt as though he failed his mistress in every way that actually count, he couldnt stop this..he couldnt do a damn thing...what was he good for.  
Syaoran was right, he was just a stuffed animal that did nothing but sit there, could only watch with his eyes, cry with his heart, do nothing with himself...  
'Syaoran..please don't leave her, she needs you...'  
Sakura cried and cried and cried, why was this happening? Syaoran was the air that she breathed, he was part of her, she needed him as much as a human needs water...  
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you. Like I never ever loved no one before you....  
  
Sakura wanted to die, what was holding her back...She got up and was heading to her bathroom to find something sharp, anything sharp that would cease her pain...  
she quietly whispered "Goodbye father, goodbye brother, goodbye Kero & my beloved cards, take care...Syaoran you will not part alone"  
She reached for the razor but stopped...  
"He..He wouldn't want that..." she told herself..."he would want you to be happy, you can't be happy without ...him.."  
She reached for the razor once again but was stopped by a soft sobbing voice..  
"S..Sakura...don't do it...we need you, he would'nt want you to hurt yourself..he dedicated...his life to protecting his cherry blossom, would you like his death to be in vain?"  
Sakura looked at her little friend, "Kero..I..I can't..I.." Sakura dropped the razor and fell to the floor sobbing. Kero rushed to his mistress' side.  
'Oh please cards of the almighty clow, save her from such sorrow...please...please'  
  
Pretty pretty boy of mine. ust tell me you love me too...  
  
Only sounds of crying, heart wrenching cries were heard throughout the night. As Sakura lost her reason for living..  
  
Oh my pretty pretty boy, I need you, Oh my pretty pretty boy I do...  
  
Let me inside............  
  
Make me stay....................  
  
  
.... right beside you.........  
  
**************************************  
The plane fell, twisted, turned upside down, ready for impact with the breath taking ground when suddenly, time seemed to stop....  
  
The plane was no longer falling....it..was landing...landing safely, as if the storm had never happened...  
  
The wheels carried the plane safely down the runway intacked..  
  
"This is flight 1002 on runway 101, welcome to Japan...."  
  
Ok I soooo need R&R mwhahahaha i'm really proud of this one..to tell you the truth i was gonna end it at "right beside you" make it really dramatic but i was near tears so i couldnt do it  
This is going to be continued soon hehe...for the record, this one makes me wanna *sobs* cry...pathetically* excuse me...  
psst Mike was that better? A- eh? *pouts* ....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. The Feeling is Gone..

Well I have returned with this fic. Pretty Boy did better than I had anticipated hehe, thanks to all you reviewers out there! Your opinions mean a lot :) Mike urs especially, my loyal fan *sniff sniff*  
Anyhoo this should come before Pretty Boy actually, it's a T&E with a speck of S&S mention. I figured that I would use feeling is gone, miror miror after this and prob. the last one will be  
Why! Which will be S&S, I swear it's gonna be twice as good as Pretty Boy, twice as dramatic too so check those out...R&R plz! Reviews are a great source of encouragement!  
For those of you who liked Sentiment Cards, no worries Im going to continue that too. I had no idea that ppl would read it hehe.  
  
The Feeling is Gone...  
  
Her eyes opened slightly only finding darkness. All that could be heard was pure silence. She looked on wide eyed as her eyes caught a glimmer of the sunset reflecting against a picture frame.  
The picture frame which held ever so dearly a photo of herself with the charming love of her life. Although it was pitch black, not a single light illuminated the room, still, the pain in her eyes was evident,  
soft sobbing like a whisper in the wind sang a song of sadness, of longing for the happiness, for the peace she once knew. She wanted to move, to try to keep busy so her actions would not have the chance to consume her memory,  
but to no avail, it was as though she was paralized in the darkness, in the nothingness of the once illuminated, once joyful room. She felt so ashamed, so embarassed, yet she could not raise a finger, not even to wipe away the stray tears as they poured  
out of her eyes. Would she ever know happiness again? Did she even know it at all? Was happiness just an illusion the truth hid behind? Could her heart ever find this sentiment ever again..after..after what happened not too long ago...  
So many things were on her mind, but the one thought she could never escape from, the one memory that would haunt her forever, the one scene she could never forget never ceased it's rewinding play back.  
Her voice trembled as she spoke to him, as she yelled at him, as she exploded at him. Her hands clenched into fists as her newly manicured nails dug into her palms causing holes to form in her once smooth skin, spilling red blood onto the cold hard floor.  
Her eyes stared at him so accusingly, so full of judgement and anger. Her nostrils flarring as she breathed in and out in short breaths. Her knees buckling, threatning her deathly stance, her legs weak ready to pull the ground from under her.  
But the most hurtful, the most dramatic, the most irrational behavior could not be seen, only felt. Her lips mouthed words that her brain had muttered, her heart shattered, inconsolable, lost, alone once again plunged into the darkness she knew all too well.  
Although the scene had taken place hours ago, it felt like an ongoing film rewinding over and over, formulating a never ending emotion rollercoster for all to see.  
She would never be able to forget his confusion, his innocence to her alligations, the pain and hurt in his eyes, the shock that spread throughout his body as he saw her eradic body that was once so full of life, love, happiness, lose all emotion and yet so filled with utter horror.  
  
"The feeling is gone...maybe..it never even existed" she whispered to herself in the dark room which mirrored her heart, body and soul.  
Tears consumed her puffy, red eyes as they claimed her once smiling face as their own. The same face that had been held by his warm touch, the same lips that came in contact with his over and over again, the same dimples that could be seen after he told a dumb joke.  
She wanted to scream, pout at herself, break something, punch something, howl, something! But..she couldn't she just sat there, feeling so alone, in the darkness, in the bitterness that had turned her into an icy, motionless creature, not even human, not even alive.  
She stared out her window again at the sunset from where she lay on her bed once again, muttering to herself as if an attempt to console her bruised and beaten heart morcels,"The feeling is gone..the feeling was never there.." she knew it was a lie, the feeling had been strong once upon a time, but not anymore, not ever again...  
She lay her head onto her pillow, not even bothering to change out of her blue dress that had only one full sleeve, as the other hung loosely at her side. It had been a night she would never forget, the night she lost all humanity, the night something else had taken over...  
  
**********************************************  
  
8pm, the door bell rang, she ran with anticipation to answer it knowing exactly whoes smile would greet her...  
"Hey there beautiful..." his mouth open as if time had frozen in place. There she was, the love of his life standing before him in an elegant yet simple blue dress that suited her gorgeously.  
"Hey yourself handsome" she returned in a seductive, yet innocent voice.  
"uh...uh....we..uh don't wanna be late..we still need to pick up Sakura.." he replied blushing.  
"Poor Sakura, she still has yet to hear from Syaoran, still when I look in her eyes I see anticipation, love, compassion among many other things, she would wait for him until forever.."  
Eriol nodded in agreement, sadly he looked into his lovely girlfriend's eyes, "Tomoyo, everytime I look into your eyes, I see so many of those things and more, your kind and loving heart makes everyone around smile, before I fell for you, my mouth was only used for speaking, now the very thought you makes me smile,  
the sight of you makes my heart leap to heaven thanking God that he led you to me. I wonder what could I have possibly done to deserve you, my love, Tomoyo I'm unworthy of the ground you walk on." Eriol spoke in all sincerity, as his eyes began to water.  
Tomoyo's lips embraced his in a sweet passionate kiss. "You are too good to me" she whispered sweetly. Eriol shook his head as he watched her head to the car, "You, your too good for me.."  
  
After picking up Sakura, Tomoyo felt a slight jolt of pain, jealousy as Eriol kissed Sakura's cheek innocently after hearing of how much she missed Syaoran. Tomoyo knew the love Sakura and Syaoran felt for each other was real, truth love, never to be destroyed. Did Tomoyo have such love with such construction with Eriol?  
She convinced herself that Eriol's eyes were only for her, but there were times where his eyes would drift wonderously from her to Sakura, her best friend. Was it all just her imagination? Was she looking for trouble that simply was not there? Tomoyo shook her head of such thoughts, Eriol was hers, no one else's...right?  
  
Finally they reached their location.  
"A Kareoke bar? Eriol are you sure?" Sakura asked with uncertanty evident all over her face.  
"Sure, why not Sakura Chan?" Tomoyo replied in an attempt to ease Sakura's nerves.  
They ate while exchanging stories from their past. Every so often Tomoyo would somehow be excluded from the conversation, Sakura and Eriol seemed to have so much in common, so many common emotions, was there love hidden under the friendship? Was that so called peck on Sakura's cheek, just a peck? A kiss is a kiss no matter how  
small or insignificant it may seem, a kiss is never just a kiss...  
Tomoyo felt sick, was it true? Did Eriol still have feelings for Sakura? No! She had already been through this over and over again with Sakura, Eriol as well as herself, why was everything involving her feelings so complicated?  
Why couldn't she ever just accept things for what they were, why must there always be a hidden meaning that only she can understand? Or maybe the hidden meanings, all the reading in between the lines were just created as protection, perhaps her heart would set up a shield ready for anything, breaking her oponent before he would break her.  
She excused herself from the little round table in the corner, it seemed her boyfriend and her best friend were in such deep conversation that they hadn't even noticed.  
As Tomoyo began to return to her table, she decided she would wait a few more minutes, maybe she would find out the truth if she literally took a step back..  
  
***********************************************  
  
"Oh Eriol, I miss him so much, I mean sure we talk over the phone and all, he's even pretty sure his training is nearing a close and he may return to Japan" she smiled.  
"But, you can't help but miss him I know Sakura. Even Tomoyo, right now, she may have gone to the ladies room for just a moment but still, it seems she has been gone for an eternity."  
"How am I ever going to deal if...if he doesnt come back Eriol..." Sakura's eyes began to flood with tears. Eriol instantly envelopped his friend into a hug attempting to console her, but only Syaoran would have such power, only he possessed the power that would make Sakura complete...  
"It's all going to work out Sakura, I know it, and trust me I know everything" Eriol spat in an arrogant tone ONLY half serious.  
Sakura giggled and kissed him lightly, gently, innocently on the cheek in appreciation. Tomoyo from her post however could not see such appreciation, no she only saw lust in her best friend's eyes. The truth had surfaced, she loved Eriol, and perhaps, he loved her.  
How could she have been so blind? Well he would not break her heart once again, no way, he would not break her. No one ever would, no not even Eriol.  
What could she do? She couldnt force Eriol to love her, no, if he and Sakura truly loved one another, she would step back out of the cross fire, they could have each other.  
Her thoughts were interrupted as someone came up to her also eyeing her outfit.   
"Hm, are you going to sing Miss?" the man asked nearing her spot where she stood. She was about to head to her table when she saw Sakura and Eriol laugh, without a care in the world.  
"Yes, I will be singing a song actually."  
The man smirked at her hungrily. 'See, she thought, if he really loved you, he would be punching this guy's face in for checking out my a**.'  
She decided tonight would be the night where she took over, this night would not be a total loss! She gulped down a few martinis and walked onto the stage.  
  
"Good evening everything" Tomoyo spoke a little shakily into the microphone. Sakura and Eriol averted their attention to her.  
"Eriol, what is she going to do...OH! she's going to sing! I hope she sings an M2M song! Tomoyo chan! Way to go! Sing an M2M song!"  
Tomoyo nodded in acknowledgement.  
"An M2M song eh.." she thought aloud, how fitting, she knew exactly what she would sing...  
  
"I dedicate this song to my boyfriend sitting right over there in THAT corner with..with my best friend, say hello sweetheart, stand up Eriol honey"  
Eriol stood up shyly and sat back down, what was going on? Tomoyo seemed a little off...He felt weery but shook it off.   
Tomoyo set the kareoke machine to her song as the crowd cheered in encouragement.  
The music began, the words flashed across the screen, but Tomoyo didn't need the screen, all she needed was a mike, a good spot in front of Eriol and Sakura and everything would be just great.  
  
Sakura's heart leapt into her throat, 'I know that song, it's it's..' Sakura thought to herself in hopes the song she was thinking of would not be Tomoyo's number.  
  
Tomoyo's voice was soon heard loud and clear, slightly trembling obviously nervous.. "Listen to me as I explain this situation!  
It's not like I wanna destroy his reputation.."   
  
Sakura gasped, why would Tomoyo be singing this song! Poor Eriol has no idea...  
  
' Hm, by the look on Sakura's face I ll bet she knows exactly what I'm singing, Eriol looks confused, completely oblivious in this moment in time...but not for long...'  
  
Tomoyo's hand trembled over the microphone yet her fingers clasped it tightly as is fearful of dropping it before her message would be comprehended  
  
"We are still together...But we are not moving on"  
  
Confusion was completely evident in Eriol's face, his smile had now fadded into a dazed look, unaware of what was to come.  
Tomoyo never took her eyes off the pair sitting not too far from where she stood on the stage. She began to sway and finally her feet as if possessed by some unseen force began to propell her body forwards in a slow somewhat seductive walk, a smirk plastered on her face, a look of revenge, a vengeful look as she walked over to Eriol and Sakura's table.  
  
"When we first met it was the perfect combination. Now when I look at him it fills me with frustration.."  
  
Sakura looked to Eriol then to the approaching Tomoyo, and finally the rest of the crowd who seemed entertained by Tomoyo's actions.  
'Tomoyo..what are you doing' she thought wondering what had possesed her friend to sing such a song.  
Eriol started to figit in his seat, was she singing a song that was meant to have anger written all over it? Her facial expressions were not the same he had seen earlier in the evening, no, she looked almost...almost...pissed off!  
Eriol swallowed hard as Tomoyo was no more than 5 feet from where he sat.  
  
"What is a girl to do when she is not having fun.." Tomoyo breathed in and out quietly, this was it, her point would soon be clear.  
"How can I tell him I have to try  
There is no easy way of saying goodbye  
How do I break it  
It's just no good  
My heart is telling me that I really should  
I must be subtle  
I must be strong..." Tomoyo almost paused as tears began to form in her eyes, this was it...it would soon be over, the next 4 words would certainly make things crystal clear for him to comprehend..  
  
"The feeling is gone"  
  
Eriol squirmed in his seat, uh oh, he'd done something and he set her off. Not only that, she seemed genuinly hurt, angry, worst of all this could be her way of breaking his heart.  
Tomoyo read the confused and hurt expression of his face, he was getting the picture...but would she ever have the heart to explain why she was doing this?  
  
"I think we're going in the opposite direction  
No longer think that we are making a connection  
I am so unhappy  
I'll rather be alone" Tomoyo sang as she remained standing in front of a very hurt Eriol and a dumbfounded Sakura who tried to convince herself that this wasn't happening. Tomoyo was breaking up with Eriol? Why?   
Eriol's mouth dropped, unhappy? Was Tomoyo unhappy with her life because of him? Did he have the opposite of the desired effect? Alone? Did she want to break up and destroy all ties to him forever? Did she want to sever him from her life for good?  
Tomoyo couldn't help but sob as she sang, she wanted to run out and lock herself in her room never to open the door but she wanted to finish what she had started.  
  
"In the beginning it was one special occasion  
Now when I talk to him his mind is on vacation..."   
  
Sakura watched in horror as Eriol's face turned completely white, he understood, he got the message loud and clear...Tomoyo was breaking up with him.  
'What..Why...How..But..My..To..Tomoyo...No...I....Why Tomoyo?' Eriol thought to himself, his eyes however never leaving hers. Ironically her eyes decieved her, her mouth pronounced words of anger, vengence, her heart was saying how hurt she was, her eyes were what mirrored her heart and soul, what she truly felt. She was hurting. She didn't want to end it. So why was she doing this?  
Eriol wanted to speak to her and beg for forgiveness for whatever he had done. Most of all he wanted to wipe her tears away and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.  
  
Tomoyo took one more look in his eyes before averting her gaze to the ground, she didn't want to see such pain in him, why was he in pain? He never loved her, he never could, he still loved Sakura who clearly still felt that way for him.  
  
"How can I tell him I have to try  
There is no easy way of saying goodbye  
How do I break it  
It's just no good  
My heart is telling me that I really should  
I must be subtle  
I must be strong  
The feeling is gone  
I want it over, all said and done  
How can I tell him that he isn't the one  
The feeling for you is gone...."  
  
Tomoyo continued her sobbing louder than her singing, she couldnt controle herself. Suddenly the music in the background which provided the beat had stopped, the audience exchanged glances, she was truly burned..  
She knew the music had stopped but refused to end.  
  
"How can I tell him I have to try  
There is no easy way of saying goodbye  
How do I break it  
It's just no good  
My heart is telling me that I really should"  
  
Her voice now was almost a whisper, as if speaking to Eriol from the heart. He tried to reach for her as comfort but she stepped back obviously angered and hurt.  
She cried into the microphone until her hand lowered and dropped the microphone onto the cold hard ground. She sobbed uncontrollably but continued..  
  
"I must be subtle..." she managed.  
  
"I must be strong.." strong? ya right, he was her strength without him she had nothing left.  
  
"The feeling........ is gone" she sobbed and cried clutching her stomache in anguish, why was this so hard? if the feeling had truly never existed or if it in fact was gone, why was she pained like this?  
  
"I want it over all said and done"  
How can I tell him that he isn't the one...  
  
Tomoyo's voice was barely audible. The audience starred at her in pity as her heart bled publicly in front of everyone.  
  
"I must be ..." Tomoyo collapsed onto the ground next to the microphone. Eriol, tears in his eyes kneeled in front of her at a loss for words.  
"Don't Eriol! Get away from me! She's over there! She's the one..She's the one you want" pointing accusingly at her best friend Sakura who just sat there in awe.  
"Tomoyo..I love only you, your my life...I swear.."  
"Save it Eriol! I see the way you look at her! I see the way she looks at you! Dont even speak! Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie, its always been that way, I was just too blind to see it."  
Tomoyo cried harder, louder. Her eyes puffy and red. Her once carefully applied mascara ran down her cheeks only to be washed away by the drops of pain following. Her body shook profusely, her heart ached in her chest, her legs refusing to budge from there position under her from the ground.  
Eriol wanted so badly to kiss her, tell her she was wrong, nothing could be further from the truth. But each time he tried her eyes filled with anger and hatred. She could't deal with this.  
"Get out of my life Eriol!"  
Tomoyo gathered any bit of strength she had left, wiped her eyes, a poor attempt to rid herself of obvious pain he'd caused her and walked towards the bar.  
People began to whisper and talk, finally the entire club had resumed its noise.  
  
All Eriol could do was stay sitting on the ground praying this was not happening.   
Sakura watched Tomoyo grab any alcoholic drink she could off any table. Guys hooted and howled as she consumed everything in her path.  
Soon enough Tomoyo had gotten drunk in a matter of moments, the music had resumed and she was lifted onto a pool table. Tomoyo now full of alcohol began to dance seductively on the pool table winking at all the men who in response ran to gather around the drunk girl.  
Soon enough everyone was watching her, most of which were screaming at her to strip. Tomoyo soon spun out of control and began to unzip her dress, pealing off her sleeves slowly.  
Eriol angered by the scene got up and made his way through the hooting men. Sakura watched in horror.  
'Tomoyo, what are you doing? What are you doing to yourself!' She wanted to help Eriol but she couldn't move she was too shocked to do anything but watch.  
  
Tomoyo was only half dressed as she drank, danced and stripped on the pool table. Eriol lifted her off the table and headed towards the door with her in his arms kicking and screaming. Sakura soon followed.  
"Tomoyo get a grip!" Sakura yelled at the top of her lungs once they were outside.  
"A grip she says...A GRIP!!! NO! I WAS HAVING FUN!"  
Eriol refused to put her down as she kicked and struggled to no end.  
Tomoyo screamed obscenities kicking her feet violently in the air.  
"Sakura, is anyone at Tomoyo's place right now?" Sakura shook her head. Eriol nodded as he made his way to his car with Tomoyo in his arms.  
Suddenly a few men came up to Eriol angrily as he placed the now dazed Tomoyo in the car.  
"Hey! What do you think your doing? She's our entertainment!"  
Eriol growled in discontent, " She is NOT your play thing boys!"   
"She aint yours either kid!"  
Soon one of them reached into the car and pulled Tomoyo out who could barely stand on her own two feet. Sakura watched from the car window unable to move, say or do anything.  
Push led to shove and soon Eriol and the two men were having a brawl. Tomoyo just cried and laughed finally losing her balance and falling to the floor. One man grabbed her again, she began to struggle as she began to regain some sanity.  
"Let go!"   
"Come on b**** stip lets go!" Tomoyo continued to scream and struggle.   
Eriol was there in an instant, however during the struggle Tomoyo's sleeve had ripped and she was thrown to the floor.   
One guy pulled a knife, Eriol was unafraid. He was fueled with anger. Soon enough all the attackers lay face down on the ground while Eriol stood triumphantly over them.  
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief from the car.  
"Tomoyo, come on lets get you home."  
Tomoyo soon flared in anger, "No! Stay away from me you..you..you jerk! I must be subtle! I must be strong! The...the...the...feeling...feeling is..is..." Tomoyo collapsed onto the ground in tears "is..gone.." she cried uncontrollably.  
Eriol knelt down and pulled her into a hug, she didn't fight him, she couldn't, she was spent. Eriol helped her up when she passed out into his arms.  
"Oh Tomoyo" he whispered to the wind, "if only you knew how much I love you.."  
  
****************************************************  
  
Tomoyo's eyes fluttered open as she felt someone shaker her awake.  
"Tomoyo...here take these" Her focus was completely shot, her vision blurry, her head ached with such pain. She stared blankly at the hand that held two asprine pills.  
It took a minute to finally realize who the hand belonged to.  
"Eriol! What are you doing, I told you to leave me alone! Where's Sakura, tired of her already?"  
Eriol's facial expression changed rapidly.  
"Tomoyo! What has gotten into you? I thought we already had this conversation! Sakura and I are only friends we will never be more than just friends, when will you understand?"  
"Oh I understand, I understand that my boyfriend and my best friend lust after each other!"  
"Tomoyo, get a grip! I love you! I will always love only you! Despite tonight and the song and all...I love you...I will love you forever"  
Tomoyo felt her eyes get watery blurring her vision but she wouldnt let him win, no she would give him a piece of her mind! She stood up tall ready for battle.  
"Eriol I.." Tomoyo managed to say before faltering to his warm arms.  
"Tomoyo!" he replied concerned, "are you ok?"  
"Get away from me...I know you want nothing more to do with me, just go, Sakura....is probably in the car unbuttoning her dress to lure you"  
"Tomoyo! What has gotten into you!??? Listen to yourself! Your drunk, your hurt and angry and I can't understand why! I love you!"  
"You..love me?" she looked into his eyes, pure affection shinned through, was she wrong? Could she have possibly made a mistake?  
Eriol shook his head, "I love you Tomoyo."  
Tomoyo seemed to lean in towards Eriol when suddenly the door burst open.  
"Tomoyo, Eriol is in love with you, he always has been, why can't you see that?" exclaimed Sakura who was fuming.  
"He just declared his heart to you and all you can do is hurt him? Tomoyo what is wrong? You know damn well that I love Syaoran!"  
"Sakura, thanks but I think I can handle this" Eriol said as a hint for Sakura to leave them alone, she took it and closed the door behind her.  
Tomoyo became angry once again.  
"Go to her, she has become unpatient! Go give yourself to her! She's waiting!"  
"Tomoyo.."  
" I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT! THE FEELING IS GONE ERIOL WHATEVER WE HAD IS OVER!"  
Eriol was about to leave when he felt he couldnt, no he couldn't leave Tomoyo like this, so upset, so in pain.  
Suddenly his temple surfaced.  
"Tomoyo! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT I LOVE YOU NOT SAKURA! DO YOU NOT WANT TO BELIEVE IT SO YOU WONT GET HURT? DONT YOU TRUST ME NOT TO HURT YOU GOD I LOVE YOU WITH MY HEART AND SOUL! YOUR MY OTHER HALF! I NEED YOU!"  
Silence.  
"Tomoyo, I know why you've said all this...your afraid, afraid of love, afraid of commitment, afraid...maybe even afraid of me."  
Tomoyo's head jerked up in a jolt  
"Eriol, I trusted you, I loved you, but you broke my heart you did! YOU WILL AGAIN! GOD! GO AWAY! JUST GO AWAY GO TO HELL FOR ALL I CARE!"  
Tears streemed down her face again.  
"FINE!" Eriol was ready to leave when he heard a soft thump. He turned expecting to see Tomoyo standing there angry just as she had been all night, but she wasnt there.  
"Tomoyo...?..To..Tomoyo? TOMOYO" Eriol screamed in fear at what he saw, she had fallen to the ground, she fainted.   
Eriol picked her up and headed towards her room. He lay her on the bed in hopes her eyes would flutter awake before he left.  
He looked at her once expecting to find her at peace, dreaming happily, but he only saw pain, hurt and anguish in her face.  
"What did I Tomoyo? What could I have done to make you doubt me, doubt us?  
end of flashback  
**********************************************  
  
About 2 hours later, present time..  
  
Tomoyo cried into her pillow as she remembered all that had happened, how could she have said such horrible things? How could she have done such horrible things? What happened to her?  
Her head pounded as all the memories flooded back all at once.  
"Eriol" she whispered in hopes he would answer, but no one did.  
She felt so remorceful, what made her so sure Sakura and Eriol loved each other? The kisses on the cheeks, Sakura is a very emotional person maybe that's all she needed.  
Maybe things were better this way...maybe not..  
"Well its too late now Tomoyo, you wrecked it all, you broke his heart by not trusting him. It was bound to end anyway, you just quickened the speed of the inevitiable break up."  
She sighed.  
"What am I doing crying over this? He's with her now, no doubt, why do I care anyway? The feeling is gone Tomoyo its just GONE! ..it never existed!"  
Tomoyo lay back in bed wishing on a star as she did, "I wish for Eriol...to forgive me.."  
Tomoyo lay there in silence in the darkness awaiting sleep to consume her heavy heart until she finally cried herself to sleep.  
  
**********************************************  
  
Eriol kissed Tomoyo's forhead, he had heard her apology, he had been hiding in the darkness of her room, he never left her side, he couldnt.  
"Forgive you? There's nothing to forgive my love" he whispered quietly as she slept. He could have sworn that a smile tugged at her lips as he left her to her dreams.  
"I love you Tomoyo" Eriol whispered as he walked to his car and drove away.  
"I love you Eriol"... Tomoyo spoke as she slept.  
  
R&R! This will be continued in Miror Miror!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Mirror Mirror..

Ok its me again! Well The Feeling is Gone is actually an M2M song, I dunno why it s not on their cd  
I actually have the mp3 & its great! Sounds like em to me. Anyways, thanks to all my reviews who reviewed  
anything I have ever written up to date. Reviews mean a lot, they're great encouragment so keep em comin *winks*  
Once again huge thanks to Mike for ur offer to help me out if I need more ideas, means a lot :)   
Ok this is a continuation to Feeling is Gone, & Why is comin up and I swear everyone will love it :)  
Enjoy, I aim to please...  
  
  
  
Mirror Mirror  
  
There he was, looking at her with such hatred, such anger. How could she have inflicted such pain upon such an unsuspecting, innocent person  
whom she cared for more than her own life? His eyes were so full of pain, his face personified pain which sent chills up and down her spine.  
His eyes peared inside her soul, judging her for her harsh words, if only she could take them all back, every last one of them! She never dreamed  
it was possible, to hurt someone so deeply the way she had hurt him. She may as well have physically slapped him across the face, who knows maybe  
that was how he felt this moment. His eyes were deeply focused, he had this blank look on his face, the same look he wore as she sang that horrific song,  
that song! How could she have been so cruel to the one she loved? For so long all he could say was how he didn't deserve her, how she was superior to him in every way,  
but now, looking into those pain stricken eyes, that confused face, all she could think of was how she was unworthy of the ground he walked on.   
She tried so hard to say something, anything, she wanted to explain her actions...but could her behavior ever be justified? Doubtful. Would he ever possess the strength  
to forgive her? Doubtful. Could he ever stand to look in her direction let alone straight at her ever again? Doubtful. It seemed hopeless, utterly hopeless, until his lips began to move,  
he was pronouncing words, he was attempting to speak, yet his words were inaudible, what was going on? Each time she took a step forward he seemed farther, much farther away as if she was  
at the beginning of a hollow tunnel, the closer she got to the exit the faster he approached it. She collapsed onto the ground in tears. "I can't hear you...I can't..", she sobbed quietly hugging her knees, he   
on the other hand just stood there keeping his distance with that same blank, confused, pained look in his eyes. He began to speak once more, again she was deaf to his words when suddenly  
she heard,"There's nothing to forgive..I love you..", her face shot up with anticipation only to be greeted with darkness, complete darkness.  
"I was dreaming...he must still hate me, despise me, loathe the sight of me after what I said to him. She looked at the clock which read 12pm noon, she had slept half the day away. Suddenly  
she held her head in her hands and cried out in pain. She felt as if someone was literally hammering her head into her body, each hit resulted in more pain. She wanted to take something  
for the pain but didn't think she would have the strength to get out of bed let alone take some pain killers. She reached for the phone to call Sakura when she realized that her anger was also  
targetted at Sakura as well. She felt so alone, so lost, so devastated. She cried into her pillow wishing this was all just a bad dream, but she knew this would be a nightmare she would never be able   
to awake from.  
"How could I have been so cruel to them last night, was I drunk out of my mind? No, I got drunk after I sang that song..."The Feeling is Gone", no the feeling could never be extinguished."  
Eriol always made her feel special, perfect in every way. His touch was always so sweet, so warm, so comforting even on her bad days, he was the refuge she would turn to when things got rough.  
What did she hope to accomplish by singing that song that was so destructful to her life and the lives of her friends. What did she even hope to gain by pouring her heart out for the world to see,  
her heart bled all over the floor and people enjoyed watching. Such cruelty, how did she manage it? Was she possessed by something? Someone perhaps? No. She had no one to blame but herself,  
she was alone now not because of Sakura, simply because she had been jealous. Eriol swore time and time again he had no interest in Sakura other than friendship.  
Now, I look back on what I've done and I feel so ashamed, I never want to leave this bed, she thought to herself as she hid under the covers.  
"It's over...It's all over and it's my fault...all my fault", she sobbed to no one in particular. "Sakura...I'm so sorry...Eriol...I...", she felt so guilty,  
what could she do to make this right? Was there anything she could do?...Would they even listen to the ramblings of a jealous, inconsiderate, cruel, heartless person like herself?  
Her head pounded to no end, so much pain...and she had caused it all...  
Suddenly she started to think about her dream, he had said that he loved her, that there was nothing to forgive...was that part of the dream?  
No, it could'nt have been his lips didn't move, how had she heard the words, all he had said in her dream was inaudible to her, why was that?  
Yet, she found no difficulty in hearing "I love you". She shook it off, Eriol was probably over joyed to leave her home last night, he probably went to HER place and spent the night...  
Jealousy filled her system once again consuming her heavy heart. She had lost him the moment she sang that song, how could she have sung such harsh words in front of so many people  
obviously directed at the person she stood before, why was love so hard to deal with? Was that how she felt towards him still, love? Was she capable of such a sentiment, this was deja vu,  
she had thought all these thoughts before over and over in her mind recycling themselves into her memory. Her mind was punishing her as well as her heart with constant reminders of how she hurt him,  
he was so confused, completely confused, he didn't even see it coming, not by a mile!   
  
She sighed as she reverted back to her dream, she remembered whispering a declaration of love as she slept but it could have been the beer talking...  
Still, all the alcohol in the world would never erase him from her mind, he was etched permanently inside her mind as a reminder of how cruel she could be to someone, to Eriol of all people, the one she loved with everything she had.  
  
She finally gathered all the strength she could muster to get out of bed, she needed asprine and something to drink, her mouth was unbelievably dry.  
She made her way to her desk before collapsing into a nearby chair. She felt awful, the room was spinning out of control, her head was in constant pain and her heart just tore with every breath she took.  
She lifted her head slowly and paused. She now sat gazing at her reflection in the mirror. What had she become? She wasn't even human anymore, she had become something ....not even a living, breathing, interacting human being, she was just ..nothing.  
Her hair was a complete mess, her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks tears stained, her complection pale almost white. She looked the way she felt.   
  
She stared blankly at her reflection, she had changed ever so much in so little time, she let her emotions rule her life, she let jealousy in particular over rule her heart and her mind of what she knew was right and wrong.  
Her eyes, red and puffy personified depression, her pale complection personified pain, it looked as though she'd been deprived of love her entire life. The girl staring back at her was a complete stranger, she couldnt recognize that reflection as her own.  
She never realized the effect Eriol had on her, with him she personified happiness, until she threw it all away, for what? For mere suspicions!   
She could have sworn she had a vision of the miror cracking, shattering, pieces of glass dispersing throughout the room. She knew what this vision meant, deep down in her heart ..whatever was left of it she knew...  
  
Mirror mirror lie to me  
Show me what I wanna see  
Mirror mirror lie to me  
  
She closed her eyes wishing it was all a bad dream, praying this wasn't real, but she knew nothing could erase what had happened last night.  
Her eyes snaped open, the erase card could erase what had happened couldn't it!? She thought for instant but declined such thinking, everything  
happens for a reason, this incident occured to show her how much she loves him, this was to be a lesson. If she found a way to erase last night, it would only happen again and again until fate took back it's role in life.  
  
Why don't I like the girl I see  
  
She cringed as she analysed her appearance, how could she have let this happen?  
  
The one who's standing right in front of me  
  
She couldnt even recognize her own face anymore...she was no longer the same innocent girl she once was, the girl that found pleasure in the happiness of others, she was changed now and would never be the same again.  
  
Why don't I think before I speak,  
I should have listened to that voice inside me!  
  
There is no justifying how i handled things last night, even though I felt I was justified to behave the way I did, I had no right, I was cruel and I don't deserve him..  
Why didn't I listen to my conscience, the voice that creates a link between my head and my heart!  
  
I must be stupid, must be crazy, must be out of my mind  
To say the kind of things I said last night.....   
  
"Oh Eriol, how I regret what I said...", she cried, burying her head in hands in disgust and pain, things would never be the same again.  
Singing that song was so wrong, so hurful, why didn't I see it? Because I was hurt and in pain, I thought I could have revenge. I was so jealous,  
so angry..no I was mad, I just lost all sense of reality, of humanity!  
  
Mirror mirror hanging on the wall  
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all  
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me  
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me..  
  
No he'll never come back, personally I dont think I blame him, not after what I pulled last night. He should know to stay as far away from me   
as humanly possible! I'm not of this world anymore, I lost myself yesterday, I suddenly was consumed with anger, with hate, with pain, with jealousy, yes that's what it was. I have no one to blame but myself,  
I personified hatred, cruelty and of course jealousy, there is no possible justification Tomoyo, you are unworthy of this world...  
  
Mirror mirror lie to me.....  
  
Show me what I wanna see...  
  
Mirror mirror lie to me....  
  
Show me what I wanna see...  
  
I will never see myself in this mirror the same way again. I have destroyed the Tomoyo I once was, the Tomoyo he once loved, the Tomoyo everyone once knew..  
What I wouldn't do to have all that back, to be the girl I was, to go back in time, to change fate...to change...everything...  
  
Why did I let you walk away  
When all I had to do was say I'm sorry  
  
He could never forgive me, not after what I did...it isn't possible, he will never perceive me the same way again, no I've destroyed his perception of me..he'll never return to me..and why should he, so I can inflict more pain upon him? No, I won't do it...not ever again, I would rather...  
I would rather...die...  
Thoughts began to wander in her mind, should she live on without him? Would life be worth living?...She glared at her letter opener, but shook her head..  
  
I let my pride get in the way  
And in the heat of the moment I was to blame  
I must be stupid, must be crazy, must be out of my mind...  
  
God, what is wrong with me? What possessed me last night...dammit Tomoyo! Nothing possessed you! It was all you! YOU! it's YOUR fault  
YOUR to blame...all you...you hurt him...YOU sang that song directly at him...you...you broke his heart, did you not see his pained expression  
plastered all over his face? You hurt him, no one else...you....Your crazy if you think your a victim! Your out of your mind if you think your in pain!  
  
Now in the cold light of the day I realize...  
  
Why did it take me so long to trust him? When I finally did, why was I so eager to point fingers, assign blame that was never there, why did  
I just make up my mind without even verifying!? I handled myself badly, I made a complete fool of myself in more ways than one..  
  
Mirror mirror hanging on the wall  
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all  
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me  
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me  
  
Why am I even bothering? I know he won't come back! Hell, I don't even deserve his loving face, his warm touch, his safe embrace..he's too good for me...  
he was too good TO me, I destroyed our relationship because I was jealous? Come on Tomoyo, you know better than that! You destroyed your  
relationship because you were SCARED, flat out frightened by love, afraid to let anyone get too close to you...afraid...  
  
If only wishes could be dreams  
And know my dreams could come true  
There would be two us standing here in front of you  
If you could show me that someone that I used to be...  
  
You changed me in so many ways Eriol, my love, I need you..I need you so much...my heart doesn't beat without you, my mind goes crazy  
when your not with me. I know I don't deserve you, but...but I need you to show me how to be a better person, you bring out the best in me..  
I need you...come back to me..  
  
Bring back my baby, my baby to me...  
  
Oh Eriol...come back...  
  
**********************************************  
  
Eriol sat alone in the semi lit room, he couldn't help but what wonder about her. Was she alright? She did have a lot to drink...  
"Give it up Eriol, she doesn't want you, she made it perfectly clear! Are you thick?" he spoke to himself as a poor attempt to convince himself  
how little importance... denying her how she affected him...  
"Tomoyo", he called out in pain...He would never be able to convince himself that ..that he didn't love her...he would love her no matter what...  
But she said the feeling was gone...she even dared to wonder if there ever was a feeling to begin with! What would make her doubt me?  
He thought to himself as he punched a near by cushion.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Mirror mirror lie to me.........  
  
Tomoyo wanted to destroy what she saw before her...but she didn't have the courage, she was too weak, she had no strength left, but then   
again she had lost her reason to live...how could he have affected her this much? Was this true love?   
  
Show me what I wanna see.....  
  
"I just want things to go back to the way they were, just he and I laying next to each other...just having him near me, having his heart beat next to mine..  
made life worth living. So many times I would just watch him sleep, just breathe in and out, he looked so peaceful, he sometimes whispered  
"Tomoyo" in the darkness. Why did she have to go and ruin it...?..  
  
Suddenly the phone rang, she jumped out of her skin, then reached over to answer it. Before she could say a word, the voice spoke..  
"Tomoyo chan, I want you to know I love you, I would never hurt you the way you thought I did yesterday, trust me when I say your my best friend,  
I would never dream of ruining what we have. Our friendship is so precious to me, I need to know that you believe me when I say, I love Eriol  
the way I love you, we are all friends, but you...you love Eriol and he loves you, so much! Despite what you might think, he never lied to you,  
he always said he loved you and only you, it's true, he still loves you....Anyway, I just thought I d let you know..."  
Silence.  
"Tomoyo? Are you there? I hope its you because I will be terribly embar.."  
"Yes Sakura chan its me...look I...I love you guys too..I'm so sorry for ruining our evening last night...please forgive me."  
"Oh Tomoyo, there's nothing to forgive..."  
Nothing to forgive...That sounded so familiar! Had Eriol said that to her last night? She heard his voice but...was it him or was it her imagination... Had he forgiven her...?  
"Tomoyo?"  
"Uh, sorry Sakura, I've got to go talk to Eriol..."  
"Tomoyo...maybe you should stay in bed today, you probably have one bad hang over!"  
Tomoyo smiled into the phone, "I guess, but I need to make things right..."  
Sakura nodded, Tomoyo as if she'd seen her best friend nod smiled once again and hung up, thanking God that she had Sakura in her life.   
  
Suddenly she heard what sounded like thunder...thunder???? ERIOL! Could it be him? She ran to her window despite the pain shooting  
throughout her body. She called out his name to be greeted with more thunder...it had started to rain, she backed away from the window sad   
once again, she looked back one last night after hearing the soft "pitter patter" of rain drops, only to realize a storm had commenced, nothing more, nothing less...Eriol was not there...  
Tomoyo collapsed onto the ground and sobbed, "It wasn't him....." she cried loudly as if in competition to drown out the sounds of the storm  
which had made her so happy not too long ago.  
  
Mirror mirror lie to me.....  
  
She commenced her cries of agony of pain not caring that water fell from the window sill onto her head.   
  
Mirror mirror lie to me.....  
  
Her head raised up from her hands to look at her mirror once more, she stood up and walked toward it...looking one last time..  
  
Show me what I wanna see.....  
  
She could hear herself pleading that this would soon be all over, the pain was just too much...so painful...so much of it...  
Still her reflection appeared before her, but not the one she had hoped she'd see. She turned away from it ashamed.   
"He'll never love me again.."   
She looked to the mirror once more before lifting it up in her hands...she wanted nothing more than to throw it out the window, destroy  
what she had become that way..  
  
Mirror mirror ....  
  
She spoke slowly, pronouncing each syllable with such grace, yet with such sadness...  
  
lie to me ......  
  
The rain and thunder continued outside violently...  
She turned to the window and looked out one last time and was greeted by a soaking wet boy...  
  
"Tomoyo..." he said with a slight smile as he spoke...  
She must be seeing things...It was him! Eriol here? Not after what happened! Not after last night!  
  
"Tomoyo, uhm...it's raining pretty hard...could you maybe open ....Tomoyo?"  
Tomoyo had ran out her bedroom door like the wind, she needed to touch him, she needed to make sure it wasn't just her imagination...  
She opened the front door to be face to face with Eriol.   
  
She smiled for the first time that day, "What took you so long?"  
Eriol smiled and soon broke into a fit of laughter, Tomoyo hugged him in hopes he wouldn't disappear from her touch.  
She was overjoyed to see him still standing there in the hug.  
  
"Come in Eriol, your soaked!"  
  
Once inside, the storm outside subsided.  
"Tomoyo...I love you, I came here to tell you that no matter what you say Im never leaving your side again and.."  
"Eriol...did you reherse or somthing?"  
Eriol smirked.   
"Is it that obvious?" Tomoyo nodded and smiled. "I practiced in front of a mirror, I've been staring at my reflection for hours now! It's funny  
I seem to have this song stuck in my head, "Mirror Mirror" you know it?"  
Tomoyo was shocked! She had been doing the same thing, trying to find the words to say to him.  
She nodded and laughed. Eriol was clueless as to what made her laugh but didn't question her, it was a beautiful melody that laugh of hers.  
"Eriol I am truly sorry, Sakura called me and made me realize that you guys would never betray me like that because..because you both love me..."  
Eriol nodded slightly but was soon captivated by her eyes that despite the run down mascara, tear stained face, she was still the most  
gorgeous creature he had ever seen.  
"Tomoyo, your so beautiful.."  
Tomoyo laughed, "Your too good to me."  
They hugged again before Eriol leaned in to kiss her. This kiss sealed the deal, Tomoyo would no longer cower from love, no, she would confront it  
by Eriol's side, together they would defeat the odds, and stay happy with each other forever...  
  
Suddenly something caught Tomoyo's eye, she released Eriol from the embrace and picked it up.  
"Tomoyo, why is your mirror down here?..Tomoyo?"  
She smiled to herself as she stared at her reflection, through it all the girl she once knew was still there, there was a spark that was Tomoyo,  
staring back at her with a smile. She promised herself she would never become what she had last night, never again... Her mirror was her  
window to life, she finally realized that this large piece of glass was constructed to show her how much she needed Eriol. She made a pact   
that she would never forget this incident, a valuable lesson had been learned, one she would never forget.  
Tomoyo threw the mirror the ground. Time seemed to slow down, as the mirror fell slowly, eventually meeting it's doom- the inevitable, the ground.  
The mirror shattered, pieces of glass dispersing around her forming a circle. It was magical! She finally realized that love was not meant  
to be understood. She smiled at the pieces of glass standing over them, all of which projected her image, the Tomoyo she once knew, the Tomoyo  
everyone knew, the same innocent Tomoyo who found happiness when others were happy, the same Tomoyo, Eriol had fallen in love with...  
  
Eriol stared at Tomoyo in confusion...  
"Tomoyo..honey...are you ok?"  
She looked into his eyes and nodded. She'd never felt more ok, she was free.  
"Tomoyo, honey...uhm...I assume your not superstiscious because you know that if you break a mirror its seven years bad luck right?"  
Tomoyo's smile faded..uh oh! But soon enough her smile appeared right where it had a moment before.  
"I know, but Eriol, I wont let that affect who I am, I wont be controled, I wont be possessed..I wont be influenced..I wont be anyone, or anything  
that I'm not...a mirror is a mirror, I broke a mirror..." She shrugged her shoulders, "I'll just buy a new one" she said as she lead Eriol up the  
stairs...  
  
  
R&R PLZ! that was kinda long..hope it was liked. Lotz of people like T&E! Im glad! Just remember Why is coming up, MAJOR S&S!  
Thanks to all my reviewers! luv ya!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Why?

Hey Hey everyone :) Im sorry it's been quite a while since my last song fic. THANK YOU SO MUCH to all  
you reviewers. Why may be the concluding chapter for my m2m songfic series..lemme know what u think.   
  
Why  
  
Why. She found herself asking this question throughout the entire day. Why. After all that had happened, why was this happening? Why.  
She yearned for answers, she longed for his touch but dared not give into her constant urges... What had changed things so completely? She could hear faint noises, sounds that seemed  
so far away yet she felt the owners oh so near. Ah yes, they were all there...HE was there amongst them. In fact, his voice seemed to be so  
pained, so sad....misery spoke to her through him, he sounded lost, like a little boy in a dark room with no guidance. She could hear disbelief  
along with the pain, along with such a degree of fear that had manifested itself from deep concern. Not love. He was so far now...so very far...Distance...  
too far...Separated. Never to be reunited, for it was now forbidden. Alone. Never able to be truly happy with anyone else. Impossible.   
Only wishful thinking, nothing more, nothing less. Darkness. No guiding lights to warm her cold, unbeating heart. Despair. Pain. Heartache. Not even love could chase such horrors away. A Nightmare. One that she would never arise from.  
It was as though they shared a heart, they were one almost, because she knew on some level he felt them just as deep.  
Although, now everything was different, love...what was love? Just a word. Just a word that she had a distaste for.  
Was it love that did this to her? Was this love? Voices. So distant now, almost faint whispers in the quiet wind. Serenity. She was calm. So very calm.  
She felt almost content. Almost perfect. Almost free....almost...ALMOST complete...she was missing something in this utopia. A part of her,  
an empty part of her knew what it lacked, but the rest of her denied such a request. Why. Was that all she could think of? Soon enough,  
tears made their way down her cheeks, pain made it's way to heart, loneliness found a home in the depths of her soul.  
Her eyes fluttered open for a moment, finally able to see the voices, finally able to pose her pained question...finally able to grasp the truth..  
"W...h....y?"  
Maybe he would answer her in time...maybe...or maybe not..  
  
**************************************************   
  
That night something so very peculiar had happened, and yet she could not remember what had occured. She sat on the ground. Why there?  
She felt as though amnesia flooded her system. What had happened? Why. Why was she here, with..with a tear stained face, on the ground in a heep...on the ground..on the ground in the middle of her bedroom.  
She looked all around her, she remembered a sensation she knew all too well creep up on her, a warm, calm, serene sensation. One that surely brought happiness to her heavy heart. Were these tears of joy? No. These tears held the answers to her questions.  
She could remember gazing up at the stairs, her heart wishing upon them, her soul soaring high carefree and hopeful. She could recall  
feelings exploding all around her not all of which brought her joy. Why. Was there a pain she failed to see at this moment, that once consumed her entire world? She looked to her bedroom door as if it would provide  
her with the answers she was seeking. It was as though she could see herself leave the room upset. She looked back to the ground as if in rememberance, a sad recollection. She looked to the sky yet again, as if expecting to see omnious  
glances from the sky above. She was confused. She was lost in her own thoughts. Something had happened that night that had scared her, made her heart shatter into black, cold, forgotten pieces onto the ground. Pain. Despair. Those were so friendly to her.  
She held her head in her hands in confusion. She wanted to cry....she wanted to die...such pain...such agony...Why? Cry. Die. Alone. Afraid.  
Pain. Heartache. Heavy hearted. Where were all these feelings coming from!? What could there possibly be to make her feel so hopeless, lost, without a reason to live.   
Her head jerked up in realization. There was only one thing that could have such an effect on her. Only HE had such power. She felt instant concern, she feared the worst.   
Pain, despair, fear, awareness all came crashing down on her, was that it? Her love, her other half, was his life in danger? Tears began to gather in her eyes when suddenly she was overcame with relief. She felt warm and safe, her lips curved into a smile.  
After all this time. After so many years. After everything that had managed to separate him from her, the day had finally arrived. He was home. His aura, strong, comforting, determined, happy, pure...anxious, nervous yet in controle  
She smiled to herself. Her little wolf was on his way back into the arms where he belonged.  
  
************************************************  
  
"Welcome to Japan"  
  
His eyes fluttered open. Confusion plastered all over his face. They had landed. Had he been dreaming? No. It was real, it had to have been.  
He could smell the fear that was once apparent throughout the craft. He could see tear stained faces that were now lost in happiness and  
exhaustion from the flight as they prepared to embark the world outside. They all just got up and walked to the doors, walking past his still form as he sat bewildered in his seat. Things didn't add up.  
He felt the severity of concern in the captain's voice not too long ago, he felt the plane shake uncontrollably, he could have sworn that one of the wings of that plane had ripped off at some point.  
He searched for any indication that he hadn't lost his mind, that he hadn't fused his imagination into reality. Something was off. He looked out his window only to see the plane intacked.  
It was as though nothing had happened, but he knew better. He recalled feeling pain and dissapointment, knowing he would never let eyes on his cherry blossom again. He could still feel the  
pain in his heart thinking of how much she would cry over him. He remembered being scared, Syaoran Li afraid for his own life, a feeling that felt oh so rare to him.  
He remembered praying so profusely, he remembered feeling a sense of loss. He recalled the screams of the innocent passengers ringing in his ears, but..why?  
He knew something had saved him...perhaps even..someone yet no one showed any sign of recollection or confusion. Turmoil had occured yet there were no reprocussions. His head jerked up in anticipation, could it be possible, could her powers have grown to that extent, did she will his safety?  
He smiled to himself, if so, that must mean she still loved him...maybe it wasn't too late, maybe it never would be too late. His cherry blossom...his beautiful Sakura had saved him.  
He wanted to contact her immediately. He looked to consult his watch when he realized it was cracked, irreperable damage. It read 3am. He furrowed his brow. He was soon recalled to life when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  
"Sir, we have landed, I'm sure you are eager to explore Japan."  
He nodded with a smile as he got up and headed for the exit he looked back to the attendent.  
"Excuse me miss, what time is it?"  
"6am" she replied with a smile. However Syaoran's confusion did not go unoticed.  
"Is everything alright sir?"  
Syaoran just nodded and decided not to question what had happened any longer. Recalling his mission, now filled with determination and persistence he started to leave.  
"Sakura" he whispered into the wind as he felt the ground meet his feet. He was home despite the confusion, the awe...he was home. His home which he would never leave again.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Sakura's eyes fluttered open, his aura felt so close. She found herself on her bed, when did she fall asleep? She looked to her clock which read 10am.   
'Oh my gosh! I have to go to...wait...no I don't...its Saturday. She sighed in relief. But was soon consumed with worry, shouldnt he have contacted her by now? Surely he's back, his aura is twice as strong as it had been before.  
Sakura sighed in exasperation. Where was he? What was taking him so long? She was anxious to be reunited with her soul mate, with the one thing that would always complete her.  
She could feel him nearing yet it seemed as though he was searching for something...but what?   
"Syaoran...I know your back, I can sense your presence...so...where are you? Why haven't you bothered to contact me?"  
Suddenly there was movement from under the covers.  
"Sakura...huh?"  
"Kero?"   
Kero scratched his head in confusion. Why wasn't he in his drawer?   
"That's....strange." He said groggily as he starred at Sakura in confusion. "I could have sworn I was sad...about...something...". He shrugged it off assuming it was a dream.  
He flew to open the bedroom door when it hit him like a ton of bricks. It had happened. His mistress was in deep pain about something...someone...  
Something changed that...  
He turned the door knob and headed towards the bathroom. There, on the ground lay a razor blade. Kero's eyes widened with realization.  
"It happened, Sakura...Sy..Syaoran...Sakura wanted to...die...Syaoran was...dead...but...I sense...his aura? Could it be?"  
"Kero? Whats the.."  
Her eyes starred at the razor which lay on the ground. Death. Pain. Syaoran.  
"Kero, we were here...right here...last night...Syaoran was on a plane...some...disturbance...some...thing...turmoil...crash the plane..it was real."  
Kero flew to his mistress.  
"Sakura, I sense.."  
"Syaoran...is alive Kero...He didn't die..He's here in Japan..something saved him."  
Kero looked up to his mistress, his friend and smiled. "You did Sakura".  
Sakura shook her head. "I didnt do anything Kero...really". His smile faded. This wasnt what was originally intended to happen. Syaoran was suppose to die in that plane crash. Kero thought to himself.  
Was he saved by a mere miracle? There is no way Sakura could have saved him...right?  
"Expect the unexpected".  
  
**************************************************  
  
Syaoran continued his search relentlessly. It would have to be perfect, unforgettable, tonight would be one hell of a night. A night which would mark  
a whole new beginning.   
  
**************************************************  
  
Together, the love birds walked hand in hand. They had been spending every day with each other. Nothing would ever tear them apart from each other, they had survived so much. The pair was inseparable.  
Eriol smiled lovingly as his lips neared hers. They met in a sweet, gentle yet passionate kiss.  
"Eriol, I love you so much" Tomoyo whispered in his ear.  
"I love you too Tomoyo-chan" he replied.  
Suddenly she looked straight ahead and saw a man distressed, as if searching for something. There was something so familiar about him, something so recognizable.  
Eriol frowned.   
"Don't tell me you've found someone else to gawk at already honey?"  
Tomoyo shook the feeling off.  
"Don't be silly hon, so long as you keep paying for our dates, your numero uno to me, forever and always."  
They smiled to each other and continued they're strole.  
Still, Tomoyo looked to the place where she'd seen the man that had emitted such a familiar glow, where he no longer stood.  
'Could it be...no..no way, if that were him he'd be all over Sakura 24/7 besides, whoever he was, he's gone now.'  
  
*************************************************  
  
Sakura paced uncontrollably around her room. She turned on her radio which explained a slight rainstorm later in the day.  
"Well folks, sorry to say that last night's beautiful weather will be put on hold for just a little while, we've got some refreshing rain which hasn't  
graced us with it's presence in quite some time so embrace it when it comes" spoke the radio announcer.  
"A storm", she exclaimed loudly.  
"Last night, there was a storm, Syaoran was flying home when it hit and.."  
"The plane was going to crash, his aura became faint until it disappeared completely...he died Sakura"  
"Maybe...but...here's the weird part...he's alive now." Sakura spoke in an eerie yet confused tone.   
  
************************************************  
  
He searched and searched some more until he found himself gazing at the perfect find.   
  
************************************************  
  
Tomoyo did a double take as she and Eriol walked some more. Eriol looked at her confused.  
"Eriol, that man over there, doesnt he remind you of.."  
"Syaoran?"  
They gasped in unison. Was he back?  
"I can't tell, I can't see his face!"  
"Tomoyo, honey, we shouldn't interfere...not yet anyway"  
"Come on, I have an idea", she exclaimed gleefully.  
  
************************************************  
  
The day rolled on slowly, as the hours grew and still no contact from her one and only.  
'Syaoran...' she thought quietly. 'Where are you? Why haven't you even called me? Why?...'  
"That's it, I'm going to make the first move!"  
Sakura gathered up all her courage and picked up the phone, and dialed the number that would forever be etched into her mind.  
The phone rang once, twice, three times and no answer. She began twisting and fiddling with the phone cord.  
'Syaoran...where are you?' she thought to herself, willing herself not to jump to any conclusions, praying for the strength not to cry.  
Four. Five. Six. Seven.  
She began to sob softly into the phone. Her breathing being echoed in her ears.  
Eight. Nine. Ten.  
It was hopeless, he was back, yes, and very much alive...but where was he? Why hadn't he called to at least say hello...Why. Why. Why...  
Eleven. Twelve.   
Sakura slowly lowered her hand and hung up the phone. It was passed 2pm and still, no word.   
She looked out her window, something that would usually calm her nerves, and her heavy hearted spirit.  
"Patience is a virtue Sakura" she heard her little friend and guardian whisper in her ear.  
She nodded as if in agreement but quickly turned back to sky that seemed to be clouded by a slight shade of darkness.   
"Why Syaoran...Don't you still love me?", she asked the sky as if expecting an answer.  
Her answer was nothing more than tiny drops of water hitting against her window. Each droplet fell in perfect timing with her own. Had he  
given up? Was he even here at all? She didn't know anymore. She was lost in thought when the silence was accompanied by a gentle melody  
urged by the soft cool breeze.  
  
Why don't you call me....  
  
Sakura stared at the phone, willing it to ring, crying out his message, projecting his voice, speaking his words...making her fantasy her reality.   
  
are you afraid?  
  
What are you waiting for Syaoran? I can't understand why your so unreachable...are you doing this on purpose...do...do you want to be..left alone, do you not care for me any longer? Are you...Have you...Why....Where...I..can't understand why this is happening...are we over...did we ever begin? Why are you so apprehensive? Are you scared that I will push you away? Are you scared that you..will push ME away? Is this a plan? A scheme? Or is..there some logical explanation! I wish I knew you, I thought I knew you Syaoran..I thought I did...once...once upon a time.   
  
  
Your friends all told me  
  
You think I'm all that  
  
It's no secret that you had feelings for me, Tomoyo used that camera of hers to get the message across! You promised you'd come back to "your" cherry blossom. You always blushed when I looked at you...was it all in my mind? But why would you have told me how you felt so long ago? Was it to ease the pain of losing you? That doesn't make sense! I need an answer Syaoran! Why can you provide me with one!? Why!?  
  
  
Well it don't make sense  
  
It's just craziness  
  
Ooh I need to know where were at  
  
I need to know where we stand! Where DO we stand? I know how I feel, I know I love you...but that's just me...me...Sakura..."your" cherry blossom as you have said so many times before. That dream we shared proves you love me! But that...was a while ago...I havent shared such a dream with you in such a long time....have things changed? Have YOU changed?...Have..I? Please Syaoran...where are...you?  
  
  
Wondering why, you're acting this way baby  
  
But if you truly love me, what's holding you back from my arms? Why are you so distant? Why do you not find the need to be with me? I can't understand....  
  
  
Wondering why, you can't find any words to say  
  
It's been almost an entire day and still no answer from you...no word...not even a "how are you" I dont get it...even an e mail would be sufficient, just knowing...seeing...hearing...some kind of proof that your presence is not just some figment of my imagination! I need to know Syaoran...where do we stand? Jeez. I'm talking to myself through song, I must be crazy...losing my mind! I'm head over heals for you Syaoran...  
  
  
Maybe someone told you a lie  
  
Or maybe you're just being shy  
  
Keep wondering why...  
  
"I can't take this anymore! Kero I'm going to find him...I need to know...where we are! I want to know...and if there is someone else...I want to know!"   
  
Sakura left her bed room door wide open as she scurried down the stairs.  
  
"Oh Sakura, I hope you find what your looking for...and not a broken heart...if he hurts you...so help me...not even Clow Reed himself could keep me away from tearing him apart limb to limb!"   
  
Kero's anger subsided, concern and worry consumed him as he heard a loud rumble accompanied by a bright and blinding flash of light.  
  
"Be safe...Sakura-chan"   
  
**********************************  
  
Sakura ran through the rain...unstoppable! A little rain would never cease her determination, her curiosity, her persistence...especially not when her heart was involved. This was nothing compared to what she would feel if her worst nightmare came true- losing Syaoran, the only one she ever had eyes for...her heart spoke of him night and day, nothing could tear her away from her other half...nothing...not the Clan...not some black magic...not even a natural disaster! Sakura would find him...she would!  
  
**********************************  
  
He ran through the rain hoping the storm would subside sometime soon, he didn't want to catch pneumonia only to give it to his beloved once his lips finally fell into hers.  
  
"Soon Sakura...very soon.." he mumbled to himself, almost as if in reassurance that he would soon be reunited with his beloved.  
  
"Syaoran?"  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks as the rain poured down soaking him the bone, hair matted against his face.  
  
"I knew it was you" she exclaimed gleefully.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Sakura suddenly stopped for a slight breath as the rain continued to pour mercilessly.  
  
She looked up tiredly only to see what looked like her best friend Tomoyo with...someone that wasn't Eriol.   
  
Sakura felt concern rise up, was Tomoyo interested in someone else? Poor Eriol! Where was he anyhow?  
  
Sakura tried to go in for a closer look only to realize that the man Tomoyo was with was none other than her Little Wolf, Syaoran Li...  
  
Her heart sank to the ground slowly being drowned in tears mixing with the rain and dirt.  
  
Could it be that night, on the phone, that although she was with Eriol...that perhaps Tomoyo was truly referring to Syaoran afterall? NO! Never! Not Tomoyo...Never Tomoyo! No!  
  
Sakura gazed at the now laughing Syaoran who seemed so content where he sat.  
  
Tears filled her eyes.  
  
"Be happy...my love...no matter who your with...no matter where you are...I will always...love you.."  
  
Sakura ran back the way she came, she knew now...she knew. For a second, for a brief moment...she could have sworn she stole a glance from the almighty Syaoran...  
  
*******************************  
  
Syaoran's laughter subsided as he gazed out the window towards a girl who had a familiar glow to her.  
  
"To..Tomoyo...excuse me for a brief moment"  
  
'That had to have been Sakura! I know it was her! Dammit! What if...what if she thinks Tomoyo and I are..no, hell no!'  
  
He ran towards the place where the girl once stood only to be greeted with rain, dirt and footprints that could have been from anyone. She was gone.  
  
'Maybe that wasn't her...why didn't I sense her aura? Wait...maybe..maybe I did but I didn't realize it..'  
  
"Syaoran, come back inside, it's raining pretty hard!"  
  
"Actually Tomoyo...if you don't mind I need to get home and .."  
  
"Well hang on a second I ll go with ya! Your gonna need an extra set of hands afterall."  
  
Syaoran smiled a bit, he knew Tomoyo had plans to make tonight perfect...the perfect matchmaker...  
  
"Tomoyo?"  
  
"Yes?" she replied happily, eager and almost hyper!  
  
"Thanks for always being there to uh "help" I guess...you know with me and Sakura.."  
  
Tomoyo giggled, "No problemo! Sakura is too kawaii! Especially when she's all dreamy about her little wolf heheh hahahah"  
  
Syaoran sweatdropped for a moment but realized, what was the harm in her having so much fun anyway?  
  
**************************  
  
Sakura ran breathlessly through the relentless rain. She got her answers...ones she wasn't too fond of...but answers none the less.  
  
  
Why when you see me  
  
You pretend I'm not there  
  
But when I see your eyes  
  
Somehow you seem to care  
  
When she stood outside the window, in the bleak weather she couldn't help but feel his eyes on her even for a brief second, she just...knew he saw her..he must have seen her. She ran and ran some more as the rain poured over her, urging her to give up and just cry. Tomoyo was her best friend....Syaoran..her love...why would they..HOW could they betray her in such a way? Was that his reason for not contacting her upon his arrival? Perhaps he loathed the sight of her, maybe she made him doubt her...why Syaoran...why....'I could have sworn that in that brief second where our eyes met, in that split second...during that blink of an eye second...I saw ...love...perhaps something even deeper in his eyes....didn't I? No. Probably only shock, nothing more..it was over...over...over...  
  
  
Unbelievable..  
  
"Tomoyo! Syaoran WHY? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" she managed to scream to the cloud filled sky, only to be greeted with more rain, thunder and a bright, blinding flash of lightning..  
  
Inconceivable..  
  
"I can't accept that my best friend, and my boyfriend would do this to me! No! They would...have told me! Why would she do this to Eriol? God! Help me understand!"  
  
She fell onto the cold hard cement as the rain continued to pour, washing away the salty tears she had shed urging them to continue the ultimate journey down the cherry blossom's face. The pain was too great, the loss too hurtful...the betrayers...the betrayers were once people she knew as friends...  
  
  
Need to know if we're going anywhere....  
  
Pain. Despair. Lonliness. All she felt were sentiments of hatred and yes even jealousy, she had lost the one person that made her feel special....the one person she would wait an eternity for...'I never knew happiness for him would be with her...'  
  
  
Wondering why, you're acting this way baby..  
  
Suddenly a figure approached her from behind with an inquisitive look plastered on his face.  
  
"Sakura? What's the matter?"  
  
She looked up weakly to be greeted with a look of concern in her friend's eyes.  
  
"Eriol kun...I..uh..There is something you need to know". He looked at her confused. "It's about Tomoyo...". Eriol's face grew pale, was his love in danger?. "Eriol...she's in love with someone else..." Eriol's eyes grew wide with hurt and astonishment, before he could reply or deny her accusations she continued. "She betrayed us both Eriol kun...she's in love with Syaoran....and he feels the same for her...I saw...them together, laughing....in the restaurant..and..". Eriol's fear subsided and breathed a breath of relief.  
  
  
Wondering why, you can't find any words to say..  
  
"Sakura, yes that was Syaoran but..they are not in love..." he spoke in a voice of certanty. Sakura's face lighted up with a flicker of hope. If what Eriol was getting at was true, why had Syaoran hesitated to speak to her...why did n't he bother to say a word...why....why...why...  
  
"Sakura I was with them at first..." Sakura's eyes grew wide with curiosity. Eriol began to tell his tale as he helped Sakura up to her feet leading her to a form of shelter from the rain."You see Sakura, Tomoyo and I were taking a nice walk together when she kept eyeing someone....."  
  
**********************************  
  
"Tomoyo chan who do you keep looking for...or at..." Eriol asked inquisitively.  
  
"Oh Eriol kun it's still that guy over there who reminds me so much of him...it has to be Syaoran...it must be! Come on lets follow him shall we?"  
  
Eriol sighed and nodded. They kept a close tab on the man watching his every move, sure enough he turned on his heel as if sensing someone's gaze. There, he was, standing tall, looking just as he did long ago with a greater sense of maturity. He looked around suspisciously, as if he had something to hide. Tomoyo and Eriol watched from a secluded area hidden from Syaoran's view. Eventually he turned back and walked away smile widening with each stride.   
  
"It IS Syaoran! I bet he and Sakura are planning a special evening" spoke Tomoyo with stars in her eyes. "Come on we need to go talk to him!" She exclaimed pulling Eriol along with her.  
  
Suddenly Syaoran heard a voice and turned to see who had called him.  
  
"Syaoran! I knew it was you!"  
  
"Tomoyo!" he smiled at his friend whom he hadnt seen in quite awhile. Not too far behind Eriol walked over extending his hand with a smile, "Welcome back Syaoran". The two smiled and hugged.  
  
"Come on guys, it's started to rain, I dont want my new camera here to get wet!"  
  
Syaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol ran inside a nice looking restaurant and began to catch up. At the same time Syaoran's mind was filled with thoughts of Sakura and how tonight would be the perfect evening. 'Perfect...just like you Sakura..'  
  
********************************  
  
"A few minutes later I had to go, I left Tomoyo and Syaoran in the restaurant catching up. At one point he started to talk about you Sakura and about how much he loved you, how much he couldn't wait to see you. "  
  
  
Maybe someone told you a lie  
  
Or maybe you're just being shy  
  
"Well...then why didn't he bother to call me, to say anything to me, I havent heard from him."  
  
"Dunno Sakura, but I do know he's got something up his sleeve for ya, and I dont think you'll wanna miss it! Tomoyo is in on it, shhh dont tell em I told you anything! Besides maybe he's shy or something, but he does love you and is IN love with you trust me!"  
  
"Still Eriol kun, it sounds too perfect! I'm going to keep wondering why..."  
  
Eriol nodded and snickered in his mind, 'soon Sakura all your dreams are going to come true'  
  
"Come on Sakura, I ll take you to Syaoran's." he smiled as he quickly stole a glance at his watch. 'The time is almost right, Syaoran you better be ready!'  
  
****************************************  
  
Eriol escorted Sakura to his car as they slowly drove to their destination. He flicked on the radio to drown out the sounds of the storm outside.   
  
"Well it don't make sense, it's just craziness. Ooh I need to know where were at.."  
  
Sakura stared at the car radio and wondered, 'why would'nt he at least tell me he loved me...but I trust him, I trust Eriol, I trust...Tomoyo..what was I thinking! But still..why wouldn't anyone call me to tell me he had arrived! Maybe all this is true, they were planning a surprise of some kind..'  
  
  
Wondering why, you're acting this way baby...  
  
  
Wondering why, you can't find any words to say..  
  
  
Maybe someone told you a lie..  
  
  
Or maybe you're just being shy...  
  
The car stopped, they had arrived. Soon enough silence filled the vehicle. The rain still poured furosiously outside.   
  
"Come on Sakura, your future is right in there", Eriol said with a smirk. Something was going on...was Syaoran planning something special for the two of them...was there a point to this...there must be...there has to be! But...maybe not..  
  
******************************  
  
"Syaoran will you STOP pacing! Everything is ready, Eriol should be here with her any minute now, don't fret."  
  
Syaoran smiled at his friend who always tried to reassure him. Here he was 22 years old, acting like a child once again. But this was the moment of truth, this WAS the truth, he loved Sakura with his whole heart! If anything should happen to destroy the evening, would he ever find such courage again? He twiddled with his thumbs, pacing back and forth.  
  
"What time is it Tomoyo!?"  
  
"The same time it was the last time you asked, 5 o clock, she'll be here, it will be a magical evening trust me!" she replied smiling at her friend warmly. "There is no need to be so nervous, just have a good time I know she will."  
  
"But I dont want to fall over you know! It would be so embarasing! I mean what can I do to prepare myself!? Tomoyo chan, I appreciate all your kind, reassuring words but my heart is beating so fast, my knees are weak, my tie feels so tight around my neck..."  
  
"Stop figiting oready! God! You haven't changed Syaoran, still the same child you always were", she sighed in exasperation.  
  
************************************  
  
Sakura and Eriol made there way out of the car, through the horrible storm and walked to the front door. Sakura turned the knob excited yet apprehensive.  
  
"Go on Sakura, go on in..." Eriol whispered encouragingly.  
  
As she walked into the house that felt oh so familiar she let out a sigh of relief. She walked to the dinning room where Eriol instructed her to go. Slowly but surely she made her way to the dinning room and stopped dead in her tracks...  
  
"I love you. Will you marry me?", he said it so melodically, so beautifully she started to cry. She felt her heart jump into her throat, she couldn't breathe. She needed air. She used what little courage she had left and said, "Syaoran! HOW COULD YOU!?" Sakura ran out of the room, out of the house in a blink of an eye. Syaoran turned his attention to where she stood and cried out, "Sakura! NO! It's not what it looks like!" Syaoran got up from his kneeling position and felt his heart shatter into thousands of pieces! "No...Sakura...", he yelled out again and bolted for the door leaving Tomoyo standing, tears in her eyes, concern apparent in them. "Oh Eriol...what have I done?!"  
  
*****************************  
  
Sakura ran faster and faster through the woods, tears streaming down her face. She felt betrayed, she was mortified to see Syaoran..proposing to her best friend! When did he develop these feelings for Tomoyo! How was she so blind!? WHY? WHY? WHY?!   
  
'I loved you Syaoran and you ripped my heart out of my chest. This pain is so unbearable!'  
  
  
Wondering why, you're acting this way baby...  
  
She ran deeper and deeper into the woods, to her everything looked the same, just trees and more trees surrounding her. The wind howled at her, blowing her hair our of her face, it was as though it was laughing at her, trying to pull her back to the house to see her love with her best friend. The thunderous beat yelled at her, it was her fault, all her fault for falling in love, she should have known better after what had happened with Yukito. Why did she never learn from her mistakes!?   
  
  
Wondering why, you can't find any words to say...  
  
"Sakura! Sakura wait! Stop!" she heard him yell at her from behind. Stop? Why stop? He wanted to stomp on her soul now too?  
  
  
Maybe someone told you a lie..  
  
"Leave me alone Syaoran!" Sakura cried painfully while the bright lightning guided her way.   
  
  
Or maybe you're just being shy..  
  
"Sakura no! STOP! STOP!!!!!" he yelled after her but it was too late.   
  
She screamed as she tried to shield herself from the knowing impact which would surely crush her...the impact that would soon set her free...  
  
"SAKURA!!!!", was the last sound she heard as she felt herself meet the ground. She recalled thinking to herself, 'thank you..for setting me free..' the final tears fell from her eyes, all the pain, all the anguish...it would soon be over all over...but would she ever get her answers? Maybe...maybe not....it was all over now...all over..  
  
  
Keep wondering why...  
  
...IM SORRRRRYEEEEEEEEEEEE for the cliff hanger lol. Ya know I love you all lol. R&R PLZ! NO FLAMES! ...  
  
  
  



	9. Why? I Finally Know...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FINISHED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! After much deliberation I have come to a conclusion to "why" but I have decided to add one last chapter ...u know  
end it with a major FLUFF O RAMA BANG!   
So pleaaaaase gimme ur input. Thanks again to all my reviewers!  
ESPECIALLY the ones who gave me ideas about how to end this...no one said to kill her off, but I did get someone saying  
to either save them both or kill them both...read on and find out how this ends...  
OOOH and if you like "He Completes Me" I HAVE added chapter 4 so have fun! "Come With Me" WILL have a sequel at some point!...anyway, this is Why, part2  
  
  
Why? I Finally Know  
  
Why. She found herself asking this question throughout the entire day. Why. After all that had happened, why was this happening? Why.  
She yearned for answers, she longed for his touch but dared not give into her constant urges... What had changed things so completely? She could hear faint noises, sounds that seemed  
so far away yet she felt the owners oh so near. Ah yes, they were all there...HE was there amongst them. In fact, his voice seemed to be so  
pained, so sad....misery spoke to her through him, he sounded lost, like a little boy in a dark room with no guidance. She could hear disbelief  
along with the pain, along with such a degree of fear that had manifested itself from deep concern. Not love. He was so far now...so very far...Distance...  
too far...Separated. Never to be reunited, for it was now forbidden. Alone. Never able to be truly happy with anyone else. Impossible.   
Only wishful thinking, nothing more, nothing less. Darkness. No guiding lights to warm her cold, unbeating heart. Despair. Pain. Heartache. Not even love could chase such horrors away. A Nightmare. One that she would never arise from.  
It was as though they shared a heart, they were one almost, because she knew on some level he felt them just as deep.  
Although, now everything was different, love...what was love? Just a word. Just a word that she had a distaste for.  
Was it love that did this to her? Was this love?Voices. So distant now, almost faint whispers in the quiet wind. Serenity. She was calm. So very calm...  
She felt almost content. Almost perfect. Almost free....almost...ALMOST complete...she was missing something in this utopia. A part of her,  
an empty part of her, she knew what she lacked, but the rest of her denied such a request. Why. Was that all she could think of? Soon enough,  
tears made their way down her cheeks, pain made it's way to heart, loneliness found a home in the depths of her soul.  
Her eyes fluttered open for a moment, finally able to see the voices, finally able to pose her pained question...finally able to grasp the truth..  
"W...h....y?"  
Maybe he would answer her in time...maybe...or maybe not....  
  
"Sakura! DONT YOU DARE LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! I NEED YOU!" Syaoran cried. "We're almost home ok? JUST HANG ON!". She spoke sadly, "Th..ere..is..no..thing to...liv...e ...fo..for...".   
  
Tears blurred the boy's vision as he finally spotted his house. He kicked the door open with Tomoyo and Eriol not too far behind. They had followed Syaoran soon after he ran after Sakura. Tomoyo was crying, she was so afraid she would lose her best friend. Eriol felt tears threaten his eyes but held them in to show strength for his beloved who clung to him with all her might.  
  
Syaoran lay Sakura on his bed {dont get any kinky thoughts readers hehe} she just lay there half conscious. It looked like she was battling for the strength to breathe her final breaths. Syaoran knew that no matter what he said, his beloved, the one he swore he would protect was slipping away. Eriol had called an ambulance but she was dying, would they get there in time?   
  
"Sakura! Please, please stay with us, I need you! We all need you! I love you so much! I need you! Your my life line! I'm nothing without you! PLEASE don't leave me here alone! I swear to you, if you leave....there would be no reason to live...no point...I need you Sakura...I LOVE you Sakura...don't go...not yet...not without me...". Syaoran was crying uncontrollably. He kicked himself for not being able to push her out of the way as the lightning struck the unsuspecting tree that was once standing strong. He saw it tumble on her lifeless body, her eyes were filled with so much pain...but not physical pain...he could have sworn that she had a smirk of gratitude on her face as her body was crushed under the immense weight on top of her. Branches dug into her skin, stabbing her fatally. Her lungs, were pratically destroyed, unbearable to breathe. He heard sickening cracks and crumbling as her body practically crenated under the weight. It was all his fault, if only he had talked to her sooner, or had he never returned, she would still be the same cheerful beauty she always was. Now, she lay here, almost lifeless, pale, personifying death. Her eyes barely open, her vision was almost non existent. Pain filled the air, such an innocent girl...such a young age...she would never know the next generations of life...it was going to be over at 21...how was this possible? How could this have happened?   
  
"Sakura you have to hold on! You'll fight this, you'll come out a winner, stronger and more beautiful if that were possible. You are the perfect person, we need you..the world needs you! I NEED YOU DAMMIT! DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP ON ME! ON US! U NEVER GIVE UP AVALON! YOU NEVER WILL!  
  
"Sy..Syaora..an..." she said as pain filled her with every breath she took. "Ke..e..p....w...wond..ering...w..h....y...why..." she said inaudibly knowing he would hear her.  
  
Syaoran cried more tears, would she die feeling betrayed ? NO! In fact she wouldn't die at all! "Sakura! Listen to me! Tomoyo and I are just friends, we were never more and we will never be more! What you saw was me praticing...how...how to..propose to you...my love..." Sakura averted her gaze only to be met with Tomoyo's tear filled eyes who spoke only truth, "Sakura, your my best friend! I wanted this to be perfect! He was...preparing everything for when you came, this was suppose to be the big night, the night where he would ask you to marry him, not me! YOU! PLEASE DONT LEAVE US SAKURA! SAKURA!" Eriol ran to her side in an attempt to console her heavy heart.  
  
Sakura smiled a smile of relief, a smile not even Syaoran had ever seen. "Sya..oran...T..Tomo..yo...I...m...sor..ry..f..for...doubt...ing...you...I...l.o...ve..." Sakura smiled her last smile, spoke her final words...lived her last day...  
  
"SAKURA!!!!!! NO!!!!" she could hear him scream for her to come back, not to give up, not to leave him lonely but it was too late...wasn't it?   
  
She felt her spirit soar from the house on the verge to her destination. "Goodbye, my friends...goodbye my little wolf, forgive me.."  
  
"Sakura, my daughter I have missed you..", Sakura perked her head up only to be greeted by beautiful eyes much like her own staring back at her. "Mother...I have missed you so very much!" Her mother smiled and nodded, but was obviously troubled. "Sakura, I am deeply concerned, you see...you have unfinished business, you still have a long and happy life ahead of you..." Sakura grew confused. "Come my child." Soon enough she was back on land, along side her mother who motioned her with her gaze to look at Syaoran. Sakura advanced a little only to see her bruised and battered body, crushed beyond recognition. Her heart sank as she saw her beloved crying tears of pain, of anguish, of loneliness. "Syaoran, my love, I'm right here!" she called to him but no answer. She was a mere ghost, a spirit watching her beloved's pain grow.   
  
"Sakura...why...why did you have to die! I SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED YOU! ITS ALL MY FAULT!"  
  
"No, Syaoran, it wasn't your fault, Sakura knew...you loved her..."  
  
"A LOT OF GOOD THAT DID ERIOL! LOVE! LOVE KILLED HER! MY LOVE KILLED HER!!!...and it's all my fault, if only I hadn't waited so long to see her, if only I hadn't thought we had all the time in the world, GOD! How could I have been so stupid! So naiive! She's dead now, she's lifeless, and..and there isnt anything I can do for her...she's gone...I will join you my love! Life without you...is not worth living!" Syaoran called for his sword ready to plunge it into his body when he felt a force holding him back...an unseen force! "Sakura! Sakura it's you! I know it's you! You...you don't want me to die do you...you want me to live...but...but life without you is so...it's not worth it Sakura! I CANT live without you and dammit I WONT!" He attempted to free his arm from her spiritual grip but couldn't.  
  
Pain was apparent in his eyes, anguish and lonliness soon followed. Sakura didn't feel free, she didn't feel at peace..no! She felt as though she was the cause to pain! PAIN! She was hurting her loved one! She couldn't leave him. She turned to her mother speaking an unspeakable request.  
  
"Sakura, you are not meant to die right now, we are not to be reunited just yet, I understand your request, and it will be granted."  
  
***********************************  
  
Sakura's body began to glow brightly, her wounds healed, her pain subsided, loneliness...nearly rectified. Syaoran felt a hand caress his face.  
  
"Sakura! YOUR ALIVE!" Syaoran cried tears of joy quickly embracing his beloved in a sweet passionate kiss. "SHE"S ALIVE!!!!" he cried happily as he hugged her never wanting to let go. "Sakura, I never meant to hurt you..Im so sorry I took so long to..." Sakura shushed his rambling mouth with a sweet kiss. "I know my little wolf, I know..."  
  
Eriol and Tomoyo ran into the room and hugged their friend in celebration, she had returned, Sakura was alive!   
  
"Syaoran, Tomoyo, Eriol...I know the answers to my questions, I know why all this happened, I know why....I know why..." she cried happily as Syaoran pulled her to him gently. "Sakura, there is something I need to ask you..."  
  
"NO SYAORAN DON"T!" everyone turned to Tomoyo, "IT"S NOT PERFECT IT"S NOT ITS NOT!!WAAAAH ERIOL STOP HIM!!! ! I CANT FIND MY CAMERA AHHHH"  
  
How was that everyone? R&R PLZ! luv ya 4 readin & reviewin!  
Personally I think I should add a cute little fluffy epilogue...perhaps, "everything you do" I have an idea for it, if your  
interested, cause I dont wanna leave this chapter like this...plus I d prefer to have 10 chapters rather than 9...  
feedback needed! thanks!  
  
  
  



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